I've been so busy lately it feels like my life is easily written out in a date book.

What's going on in Jen's life today, meetings, phone calls, page design, and then exercise at 6 to 7 p.m., practice violin.

Did I ever mention I hate my life being so ridgedly scheduled?

Well the festival is over, so I can have a 'breather' this week of sorts, I'm trying to catch up on things and get things I've been putting off done.

I've written, edited, re-edited, my story on rug hooking and formated my photos - all I have left is to do a final edit and then paginate my own story.

Talk about a control freak, I take the photos I want, write my story, and layout all of these items to my desire.

I'm not controlling realllly...I just want a good job done, it was a great story and I have great pictures. I'm beginning rug hooking myself - I just got the kit, so we'll see how this all goes, I think I'll write a column to do with this story.

So anyway. That snatchy bitch lady who bitched at me yesterday in court - might call today. See this lady asked me where I worked then said "I just wanted to tell you that you are very unprofessional."

She turned away and I said "THANK YOU" loudly.

See what happend is her son was sentenced for setting a house on fire w/ kids in it. Afterwards, I was walking down the stairs with a fellow media person - radio personality - and he said "boy that kid will get it in prison, he'll be some big guys boyfriend."

So these ladies go to MY OFFICE and complain to MY BOSS about this, saying the male did most of the talking though I laughed or said 'yeah.'

I'm like, why the fuck are they bitching at me when I didn't say anything? I don't control what people say and they shouldn't monitor what I say.

So I told my boss I am not apologizing. He said he's going to write them a letter saying the paper is sorry they were upset. So I'm mad that he's doing that though he says he believes me 100 percent, I don't think he does when he's going to send them this fucking letter.

I say, he's doing that cause they said they'd go to the big big boss and tell him. GO FUCKING ON. I didn't do anything wrong! I didn't even say anything - because I know better than to talk badly about ANYONE in public - especially here in small town ville where everyone knows everyone. Plus that is very unprofessional - but again, that friend of mine is someone I respect, he's a radio personality, he always talks shit about people.

Regardless.

Today my boss edited my story bad in one part, saying the boy poured gas on a PERSON instead of on the house - I DID not write that, he changed that part because I know better than that.

So.

I'm waiting for the shoe to drop - for these cranky bitches to call me and I'll be like guess what the editor did it, and he will of course blame this on me to save his own ass.

It's all a very big mess - not to mention, (let me gripe more) that that girl who I sold that stuff to on ebay contacted that safe trade thing and wants me to pay half ($10) for the service.

I said no - I didn't ask for that.

So another mess.

*Sigh* I really dont' need this kind of shit in my life right now.

Which is why I've been a 'bad friend' again as I don't even read emails or reply to anyone anymore because I just don't have the luxury or time - I'm barely on the net as it is.

Where is my life?

I applied for three jobs this weekend (well last night I applied for one of them) and they all seem pretty good prospects, especially the one last night that is looking for entry level type personal.

The job seems perfect, it's in Chicago on Wacker Drive and is a marketing firm where they need an assistant art director - ala quark, photoshop, etc. programs and creativity to go along with it - plus some copywriting.

Okay!

I do that now.

So I hope at least an interview is in store - though I pray that comes quickly as the end of the month is hell week because I have to work for the night paginator and cover a HUGE court case that following Monday.

Wow. Eee. I always get so excited at the prospect of quitting my job. Just having only two more weeks to work here (though I hear they just let you go the day you say "I quit") - still going home and just starting over is a bit good I want to go back to college, I want to get my own apartment.

Ooh I can spend time with pooks (yeah right) and then winter won't be so bad - and then I'll have a gym right by....

Hm.

Though I'd have to move in w/ my sister (ug) and her boyfriend who's staying in our basement (for only two months, as she says (yea right))

Pay her rent - pay off my car in May - go back to school...get my masters of communications.

Hm. That seems do-able.

I should go on and get my lunch, I'm feeling light-headed - my parents want to begin Atkins again now, and hit it hard.

So I want to do that too - I've been doing better so I really want to do my best now.

I am going to actually stick to it this time, like hard, because I'm addicted to sugar and carbs all over again.

So the next few days (I'll begin tomorrow) will be a major headache and mind-altering experience as I will think of killing people and then fall into self-loathing.

Though I will see a fast weight loss.

And then after those 3 or 4 days I'll be back to Jenny and feeling like my ol' self, and telling myself this isn't so bad now, but just have to stick w/ it and learn how to live like this.

Oh well.

I have a headache and am feeling like eating at Taco Bell for lunch, my last 'hurrah' meal I guess. I'm tired of eating out for lunch, I'm going to bring something tomorrow...hm like chicken or something yummy.

All I know is I bought DNKY clothes yesterday - two shirts and a pair of pants for $111 and it fits me now, but I want to lose so it fits me well, they are gorgeous nice, expensive clothing I got at T.J. Maxx and it was PLUS SiZE wow.

It'll be my "let me lose 10 lbs first" outfit.

Though I'm down to 276 today - I was at 279 last week! EEK! Major EEK there, I want to get to 260, then 250 - 250 is a goal goal goal, I haven't seen that on my scale since, middle school!

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