I did it again, I started writing in this here diary, then left to go do something else, leaving the office to look at my fucking diary again!

I don't know why I always forget, but thankfully no one saw it.

Hm. Gotta be more careful.

Anyway, today I realized that I'm slipping again ... I mean weight wise. I got on the scale and saw I'm nearing 280! I was at 272 before, now I'm like 278 or something horrible like that.

Yesterday all my diet consisted of pizza and cookie bar things.

I know, bad.

Today, I'm doing bad again...so I'm guess next week will be a new love affair with Dr. Atkins...cause I'm not letting my weight climb up again like this.

I also just ordered a beautiful outfit from HSN on clearance a long jack with these cream colored pants, all on last clearance, yes - the whole outfit originally cost like $150 and I got it for (hold your breath) $40.

This is merely because all they had left was 1x.

In creme.

That's fine, just gotta get to be a 1x before I can wear them!

UG!

I have, now, three outfits in size 20 to 'get into.'

They are naturally cute outfits I got at clearence prices - or else I wouldn't have bougthen them -

So I figure okay ATKINS help me lose like a mad woman.

Not to mention I'm playing my Tomb Raider game and I want to be athletic like that cartoon.

I mean to know that I could just scale a wall, run from someone, defend myself in attack, would be lovely.

But in my reality, it was mean running upstairs fast and not be out of breath, and walking on the beach and not feel like someone should be pushing me back into my watery home (I feel like a whale).

So

Golly gee gee.

I'm going to really really hit it hard now.

I went to my aerobics class that I hadn't been to in like three weeks and man I felt like I hadn't been there ever!

Granted, I hate my teacher, he's a complete anti-fat person.

But I guess that's what makes me go, just to say THERE LOOK I'm still COMING cause I want to better myself (though I did eat a whole pizza yesterday).

Heh.

But still, I think I need to get back to that serious area when I was losing weight very well and had comments galore about my weight loss.

I haven't heard those comments in about two months now.

I need to get back there because that was really nice and felt really good not to mention to see that I fit better in my clothing instead of now wondering if the new dryer shrunk my pants or if I've gained to much weight.

Um okay.

Let's see I will get back on track and I want to keep a 'weight' diary on paper and on here.

I come home each night and see this notebook next to my bed and think to myself I should be writing in it.

But knowing myself I'm not beginning this diet this weekend due to fairs and shit I have to attend - ala carni foods.

I'm getting my kettle corn, but not one of those pillow sized bags, but just one of those lunch sack sized ones.

YUM.

I'll try to eat better today though I've already started out pretty badly.

I need to break my sugar addictions once again, I know I felt good when I did that on Atkins, though getting to that point was very VERY hard. (I'm a major addict, If I could snort sugar I think I would!)

So anyway, it sucks I find SO much cute clothing for size 20 and shit. Like at discount racks, always fucking 20's and no 22/24's!

Bastards.

Gawd I could look soo cute if I lost at least 20 pounds, wow.

That's my first goal, 20 lbs lost.

eee.

258!!! Below 250!! Gotta have that!

I'm going on a hike Saturday, hooray, 1.5 miles I think in the woods...hope I survive!

�

pet ramps