I still feel a bit paranoid about last Sunday when I left my diaryland diary up on my computer (hidden behind programs) and found out the editor worked on my computer ....

I mean I don't think he would know how to bring it to the front, but still, since that day I've felt a bit strange around him.

But I'm sure he would've said something, and umm I don't think he could've printed it off this page...someone would've said something by now wouldn't they have?

Oh well, enough of that garbage.

I spent the morning with the parents, I put that damn PJ's I got off ebay back on ebay cause they are too big and too sexy for me.

I just want some pj's with a tank and comfy pants, is that to much to ask for?

I got a 2x - and it was TO BIG, I mean the pants were falling off, I call it 'fucked up size' in some different world, because I'd take like a XL in that clothing line!

It was strange, that's what it must feel like to lose like 100 pounds and try on your old pants.

Oh well I'm selling them once again, and maybe I'll get some money back on it.

I think I'm going to sell my South Beach Diet book, and my Harry Potter game (which I had almost finished then my fucker computer crashed and I lost my game...I'm not playing that game again!!)

So there's some major funds coming my way if I choose to sell that stuff, I just hate, hate, hate getting them all boxed up and shit! I should probably sell some clothes I've never worn too, hmm. Jenny's Ebay store is about to open for business! ... uhh just kidding....

I can't think of anything else to sell, just things that I want to get rid of and is sitting in my desk.

I have to cover a city council meeting tonight, so that'll be ... uh fun. I've never covered one before, but it's nice because they give you everything, so there is no confusion, so I'm not worried.

Not to mention.

*blush* That dude will be there that I always see at court. Hee hee

Regardless.

I talked to Mr. Indy and Mr. South Haven - 40 year old, asshole last night.

The 40 year old is such a fucking baby, he's all up in arms cause his ex-wife has his cell number (ohhh nooo!) and she threatened him that she knows police ...so what?

I was like DEAL WITH IT. I would never change my cell number because someone else had it.

Plus his kid is fucked up, and they fight, and personally.

I just don't care.

Because he gets so worked up about "NOTHING" and it pisses me off because he flips out totally.

I wanted to say, you blame her for everything, and personally I think he should take that blame as equally. He says his kid is 'dumb' and it's 'her fault.'

UH HUH.

I keep thinking, you know...the court wouldn't have given her full custody for no reason. I think he was in anger management classes or something.

Or maybe he verbally abused her or assaulted her, or something like that.

He has a temper, I've seen if flare when he was w/ me even for a brief moment, and that was over something small.

I'd hate to see him really angry, I'm sure he's the type to punch walls and burst blood vessels in his eyes and shit.

Bleck.

Freak. I still talk to him, I know, but it's not everday like before and it's very far and away if I even reply. I just think ignoring IM's etc. it just stupid, I'd rather just deal w/ it.

Hm. Oh well, I like Mr. Indy man, he's very interesting to me. We were talking about bad poetry - and then making up our own, he showed me some of his.

Then we talked about cartoons.

I don't know, he's cool to me, but I know it's that type of internet thing where you'll never meet them or see them, etc.

Anywho.

My old boss Im'ed me yesterday - yes that old boss where I've been trying to get a job back at! I was surprised, he was very kind, as always, he's down to earth with me, as always. He makes me feel that everthing is okay, as always...he makes me feel that there is still hope and makes me feel like I am good and talented, as always.

Now, that's a good boss, he asked how well I've been doing, and how it's wise of me to go into news design instead of reporting because there are zero jobs in that field nowadays.

He was positive, he said nice things.

He said, don't try to get back here, cause they are snobs with high egos that won't hire you unless you're the top with a billion years experience.

He said he's trying to find a diff. job because he hates his job there now and got a 1.5 percent raise, while the higher ups got three....

So.

It was nice to speak with him! He said to keep in touch and he'd be sure to keep his eyes open for me and that it is near my time to leave here.

Yesterday, too, at work the obituary man said, "Jen how long are you here till?"

I said.. um 9 o'clock??

He said 'no, I mean it seems you young people come here and work for about 6 months and then leave. Isn't it past your time?"

I said, Yes, the fires are burning....

So.

Sorry.

I cannot help this economy blows like a veteran whore.

I'm trying.

But anymore I swear, it's like I don't know where to try now, where to apply, what I want, what to do.

Chicago was an eye opener, it was like you have no money to move out, so you can't just get some far off job and expect to live rent free as you do now.

So, it was eye opening, a cold reality. But I feel like it was a good thing, I am going to email that headhunter on Thursday to see how it's going...say 'what's up, do they want me or not?'

I'm hoping, it will not be a major major 'NO' or something like 'I haven't approached them yet' or something like that.

But I somehow feel I should be neutral, not give up, but not give to much hope, I think in fast times, like they'd get this done now, but in the business world things take time and maybe he's still interviewing people before he approaches them....

It's so hard to tell.

I don't know, I try not to think on it because it's a bit depressing.

I want out badly, and it feels like I'm waiting and getting anxious and a bit crazy and neurotic about the whole thing.

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pet ramps