Crumb BUM!

I'm really having a fucked up day.

My parent left this morning and this fucking co-worker called me at 8:30 AM to ask if I was covering this dumb ass memorial service.

I was like HUH? NO, I don't know. I was ready to say, I don't give a FUCK either.

But I said no, and went back to bed grouchy.

My computer is still acting up and that's making me mad too.

Plus there is a bat in the basement and it's making sounds.

My parents left my dog here for me to care for, for two weeks.

So I worried about him all day, and right now he's sleeping and is jumpy too and whiny cause he misses mama.

So I've a headache, not to mention work was just annoying today. I told my co-worker that I think I need a MONTHS vacation, fuck a week!

I should've become a teacher, at least then I'd have all that time off!

I really, seriously think I want to obtain my master's degree and then teach college or something.

Seriously, I think that's what I want to do, something in the college atmosphere, something. I know I'm a 'shy' quiet type, but I think that would be quiet fun to do and have all that free time - I mean my college teachers seemed to teach like three days a week and bawked about that.

I'd take that.

Teach communications or reporting 101, or something like that.

Hm. Oh HUm. I'm sending out three resumes tomorrow. I hope one of em takes!!!! But the ones I've applied for are kinda strange, but I'll take anything anymore.

It's so hard because it's like, do I make plans here? I mean I have stuff coming up, like a 3 mth gym membership that I can have, and I"m like, should i do it? Or will I be here that long?

It's hard to say, I guess that's the last shred of hope I have, I guess that 'it can happen at any time' type of deal.

I am a bit afraid of working in chicago (since that's where I mainly apply at) because of taking the trains and the fucked up folks on em. Or getting lost ... to maybe I should drive, then thinking, fuck what if I get lost there too....

It's a freaky thing. Then I keep thinking, what if I do get lost, wow. I 'kind of' know a bit of Chicago from my friend driving there, and it's not that hard to get so lost since there's basically the highways right there, but I don't want to think on that one until I get that interview, I know I've rode those trains at odd hours and personally it seems scary, especially that underground station! WOW, can you say turd world nation??

I did bad, bad, bad this weekend with atkins, I'm off it again. I WAS doing SO GOOD. So tomorrow I'm back in the saddle again as the song goes.

we have like 8 mths till we go to Disney once again. I keep thinking, well people normally lose 10 lbs a month, I could lose *gasp* 80 pounds by then, and for once in my whole life be under 200 lbs!

WOW. That would be fucking COOL. Which is why I want to hit Atkins hard again. Heh heh. I swear the only time it's hard to eat is when we eat out, then it's like, there is nothing to eat that has low carbs! It's to tempting.

So hopefully I'll get back on track, and see, looky now how I want to plan this weight loss and cannot because I fucking have this shakey future.

Man I need to go to bed, I feel so blah I want to get out of here, but am 'scared' of this change because of the new, unknown things. I know, I must go and change because I cannot stay here forever at this salary, it's not right, it's wrong completely, this is just the spring board for me, now I must take that final jump and completely submerge myself into some kind of life long way of life for myself, some way so I have a stable future instead of this one where it gets hard to try to built the blocks that could tumble at any time.

I wish I knew what was coming up for me.

�

pet ramps