I had a completely fucked up day!

I met Josh around 2 and lordy, guess what happend.

It was fucked up.

I was soo nervous as I always am when I meet internet guys. I don't know why, you'd think a reporter would be used to meeting new people everyday and then questioning them for information.

But I walked in gingerly, I called to say I was there and he was inside looking for books.

So I walked in feeling like some run way model in my perfection - nice outfit from work, hair good, makeup fantastic.

Perfume - the works.

So I'm walking in looking down the isles, wondering if he is behind me or maybe following me, I try not to look like a geek. So I'm walking and just feeling weriod, I glance down the isle and there he is.

I shutter and murmur damn.

He's looking old and in worn out raggety clothing and he's staring at me.

I chirp "hi!" and he says hello and I walk up to him trying to hide my disappointment and I am blushing and feel suddenly shaky, he keeps looking at me, I feel him look me up and down and up and down and up and down.

I look down embarrassed and blush deeply, he says "you're blushing."

I say, well my mom just called ... and it was weriod because I was walking in here (this did happen.)

So we stand there talking a bit about computers and I say lets go sit down.

I sit down and keep my eyes to the table or on my own hands as I play with the table and think of some conversation.

He keeps looking at me like I'm a ghost, something strange or maybe scared and awaiting to see what I'll do next.

Then I notice ...

He keeps looking at my chest

I'm not one with big knockers, but in my pink under wire bra and this particular shirt, my boobs look nicely rounded and somewhat decent.

I look up and notice how he's looking me up and down all over, I feel nearly molested.

We continue talking and his hands keep reaching over the table and almost onto my side of the table, I hold my hands in my lap and lean back.

Then ... he flops his hand on the table, out stretched and it wordless says, "I want to hold your hand."

What could I do? My friend says I went wrong ... I should'nt have touched him, but wouldn't it be rude not to?

I relucently grab his hand like a dirty washcloth. I notice his chewed finger nails and rough skin and the texture of his skin feels like something wet. I hold it for a second and then pick it up and say, "look you could be a violinst" I say his nails are short and he'd do well if his fingers weren't so stubby.

I put my hands back in my lap and a few moments later say - well I should be going ....

We get up and he makes me go first down the aisle, I feel his hand touch my waist and I nearly shutter.

My friend is right, I shouldn't have touched his hand.

We get to my car and I'm thinking, what if he makes a move, he's still eyeing me and my boobs, and I know if I were to give him any type of signal his wet, greasy hands would be up my shirt and his nibblet corn teeth would be rummaging my mouth in some wet sloppy horny kiss.

I step away and open the door as he admires my cars stickers, I won't look at him and I say "well it was nice meeting you."

He offers up his hand again and I take it, it's very near to my boobs and I feel awkward and make a joke that I feel like I've been on an interview as I laugh and get into my car, he waits to shut the car door and I quickly do it on my own as he watches me drive off.

I sigh in relief and speed to get away from this eye rape I just had and wonder if not tonight I'll be in some sexual fantasy...bleck.

I still can feel those eyes all over me, it was like a blanket and I didn't feel right, it felt nearly lustful to have been looked at like that, now I know that look of a horny man. Man alive, I think he could've tore me up if only I asked for a quick romp.

So yes, I do NOT think I will be seeing this man again unless I want to someway lose my virginity in an undignified manner. Though a piece of me wants to get some 'experience' (not sex) in for later use, but I don't know if I could do that.... Not to mention it's fun to flirt with someone with just a sexual sounding comment turns him into a tail spin. That's power right there.

If only he were cuter, neater, weighed less, better personality, then we'd be talking.

He has a bad temper too, I could see it, I bet he has some rage issues. I'd love to see him majorly pissed off, wooo. lol

I guess this was an experience...but man. He just emailed me and wants to see me again. Then IMed and said he really liked what he saw ... and I told him I knew by how he was looking at me. Like he wanted me to be his personal sperm bank.

Mmm shit.

In other Jenny news ...

I seriously need to start working out again, I just feel bloated and big anymore, I havent lost an inch in a month or more!

I need to get on some better eating cycle and actually really hit the exercise classes and stop this madness.

My goal is to lose weight and be a size 16 - I mean I see soo many guys and I'm like I bet if I were smaller I'd have a chance.

I think I'm giving up on internet men it's always bad for me. Look what mess I've gotten myself into now.

Hm, okay I will from now on work on my weight and saving money and I don't know what to do now about horny internet guy.

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pet ramps