It's been one of those days. I woke up so tired, I didn't want to go to work, I contemplated calling in sick.

I finally got out of bed at 8:40 - and got to work at 9:40 ish - my boss yelled at me because the new boss asked about my hours.

I wanted to say shove your fucking hours, I work overtime not to mention don't even take a full hour lunch.

I told my boss - I make up those hours when I come in early on Sundays.

Now that I think of it, I should've said, am I not doing my job, is something lacking? And why does she tell my boss so he can tell me? If SHE has a problem she can tell fucking ME and not go through people and then be two faced when she's all nice and happy with me.

Bitch.

I'm still kind of ticked off at that, but I didn't really let it get to me as I normally do. I just smirked and laughed, fuck off you assholes.

I turned in my resume for the University of Chicago job, God I hope I get it!

My sister and parents said it was made for me, I'm qualified for it and maybe they will see this.

I think me living in 'Indiana' scares them (I say I live in Indiana so they don't resort to thinking that they have to pay me to move.)

I just want an interview! That would be so lovely instead of just wasting all this paper and time on people who just trash it.

Hm.

I really would love this job, I really really would. It seems such a carefree thing, it's associate editor for this magazine for alumni - it's not as prestiguous as it sounds. It's mainly proofing, writing and paginating some of the magazine, not to mention filing and some secretary things.

It pays $25 - 35 so I don't know what they are looking for.

I already feel as if maybe they will laugh at this as I don't have anything but 16 months experience. I await the day I can say I have 18 months, that's at least something, a year and 1/2.

So I wait ... and wait... and mom says she thinks all of the sudden jobs are just popping up for me.

She says by fall the job market should be turning and jobs will be available.

I just need to get a job at home and then I'll be very happy. I was sitting today at work thinking about how I will give my two week notice.

Oh well I leave to go home on Thursday, I want to get out of here by 3, or 4, but since today's thing with my boss saying people are watching me, I just don't know.

I'll come in at 8 a.m. and skip lunch maybe and then leave at 3 w/ a clear conscious. Tell em to kiss my ass as I speed out.

Wouldn't it be nice if the U OF C called me for an interview during my vacation?

I have to meet Josh or else he will kill me I've already stood him up twice...and he got hurt w/ the last one.

I said I will absoluetly meet him Thursday in Holland, I want to go to the Ihop, mm pancakes on a first 'blind' date. Well not really a date - I don' t know what he's thinking that it will be. He said Friday he's going to Chicago and for me to keep my 'schedule open.'

I was like huh!? No, wait!

I showed him my picture that I posted two days ago - of me in my pink glory and pointing at the bottle smiling.

He IM'ed me this -- "Jennifer ...." I was like what? I kept thinking lord what if he says 'this isn't going to work out.'

So he Im'ed 'come hither ..."

I started laughing. He said that's a picture he's definately keeping. He made me just feel like I was beautiful for some reason.

Then he asked what I thought of him, so I wonder if I make him feel inadequate or something because he's so much older and ... well ... larger.

Not that I mind.

But still, he just makes me feel like this fragile butterfly that glows within and is something he must respect and take care of so slightly and carefully or else I'm able to fly off and leave him.

It was strange, he makes me laugh at his eagerness and also makes me feel like a kid with how adult he is. He makes me realize how young I still am, how immature in many ways and how off the handle/flighty I can be.

Still, wow, I never had a guy make me feel like that before ... I still smile whenever I think of it.

Anyway - I called the violin teachers to tell them that I wouldn't be there Thursday. I really like the lady who helps the teacher, we talked for a bit. She's someone you can call up and just talk to for hours and laugh the whole time.

She's religious though, which I swear makes people a bit weriod.

She told me 'Jen I noticed the past few weeks you've been coming here you've been looking awfully beautiful.'

I was like what!? I thought she was kidding or being a smart ass.

I was like ... umm... thanks?

She said that I carry myself with such a light, caring character .. that I'm nice and wear such beautiful clothing and have beautiful skin.

I was ready to say why, when? I told her I only bought clearence clothing and the like. She said I have excellent taste in clothing.

I thanked her.

People always say I have such great skin, but I never see it - I just see when I get a zit or when my arms break out and stuff.

Everyone says peaches and cream, and I am sooo fair. I wish I had that kind of skin that tans so easily, whereas I can't even tan well and my skin is translucent - seriously. It looks PURPLE in some light or to red in others.

Yeah, my face might look peaches and cream, but that's about it.

So I guess that was a good thing to hear. I mean I think I need that kind of confidence of people feeling comfortable enought to tell me that I look well and dress well.

I never had this before.

I don't want to be a snob or have a big head, but I really never had anyone (except parents) tell me these types of nice things.

So now it's an addiction of a kind - where I'm superficial about myself, only the best makeup and clothing, only exercise and things of that nature so I can be 'pretty' to people now.

It's a addiction, I crave these nice comments!

Today for lunch I had oatmeal again with that low carb jello fluff I make. It was pretty damn good. I don't feel as bloated as I have been feeling today. I think yesterday exercising so much helped me out a bit. I also got sick to my stomach last night and this morning. So if I'm not losing weight one way, it's coming out the other end!!

Yuck huh?

I have a touchy stomach anymore and I have heart burn today - not to mention another headache. Owwwuchhhy.

Oh well I must go to court and snoop around a bit, not to mention walk up 3 flights of stairs. *Groan*

I have circuit training tonight and tomorrow have weight lifting and aerobics. I can't wait.

Mon. I'm wearing my hoochy outfit to my sisters graduation.

A skirt (that I can't sit well in :( ) that is red with light black designs on, with this see through black top which makes you feel SO feminie in ... and these mile high heels that look 1940 ish.

I like the skirt, when I'm standing, but when I sit in it, it's a big tight on my legs. But I like to wear skirts anymore it's kinda fun in a way - not to mention how my legs have lost weight and look great! heh heh.

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pet ramps