It's another one of those days. I got in trouble at work for something I didn't do. See I write the court blotter here, so I read through numerous court files throughout the week and report on them.

The court put in a file that was two years old, so the women I wrote on got pissed, threatened to sue, etc.

She was in court recently on her case though, but still it was a two year old case. So my boss is yelling at me because I should've looked at the dates.

I tell him NO, the court people said no one did anything wrong and I was just doing my job as always. The case is current since she was there, but still, to find the dates of when the whole case began is very hard because there are a lot of dates within the files, I never checked them before because A. I was never told to (I'd never done court before I began working here, all I had to go by on was a old paper clipping of how someone else did it) and B. they are usually all current.

Everyone said this has never happend before.

So my boss is blaming me and is going to once again riducule me in front of everyone at the meeting and make an example of me.

I almost started crying, thanks so much, asshole.

I'm still mad about it because I think I'm right and what's more, is the new manager, I think she thinks I'm right too. He suspended the court blotter from now on because we're, well HE'S trying to figure out if the legal lawsuit that was threatened upon us is really worth it.

I say YES because everyone loves to read this blotter, but again, who am I, I'm no one just the lowly reporter.

Then my second thing that pissed me OFF. Was I read on this girls trial today and found out that she was arrested in a diff. county like a week ago. So hippity hoo I was so happy to have this lead I tell my boss and he tells me in a shitty voice, well it was in the Traverse paper already if you would've looked Wednesday. I just wanted to say fuck you!

Why didn't he tell me? We could've beat our competition because today - but no he makes me feel like a dumbass and shatters my excitement! He couldn't even tell me about this, I could've ran a story for today on it.

I was very burnt up to say the least.

So then I get a call on my voice mail from Josh - who's upset because of his mother who keeps intruding on his life/making him run errands for her, etc. I know this probably sounds shallow, but I can relate to him because when you live alone and are used to only taking care of you, when you have parents still acting like you're in high school, and demanding and giving guilt trips it gets frustrating.

Most parents will disagree, but it's true.

Oh well I told him how cruddy a day I was having and he said he hates to have to wait a week to see me. I wanted to say dear I'm so busy that maybe you don't be able to see me until May.

What is odd is I want to see him, meet him, I mean I'm all into him and I think it's some false ideal I've made of him in my mind - I mean when I meet him I hope I'm not disappoint or disappoint him. You know?

I know he's older, but still I do feel a kind of connection with him, but still feel like fuck if we were to get together, wow, talk about scary to have him meet the parents, my mom who said age doesn't matter, well how about someone who's about 10 years younger than you with graying hair?

Plus I'm not sure if this is alright, what if this is something, I want to have kids...you know.... Then I think of these older men I work with and think lord they aren't much older than him, could I date these men? ... ?

I'm thinking ahead and making to much of nothing.

So I'll shut up.

Um, hm, what was I going to say. I hope my internet works tonight, it's been on the fritz lately, working when I get home, but later into the night it boots me off. What's up with that?

heh heh I've been retracting bids on ebay because I overbid and didn't want the stuff and someone called my bluff today saying they wanted an explanation before they go to ebay.

My mind made up a story of how my 'daughter' also used my ebay name and has been retracting bids and how I understand the seriousness of this and have talked to her twice.

Muh ha ha ha. I swear sometimes I think I can make up the most fucked up stories to easily.

I'm still thinking about applying for that job in Indianapolis, there is only so little I can take of my daily yelling. I wish I could geta job near home, but anymore I'm ready to take anything.

Oh hum.

God I don't want to take my violin lesson tonight, I don't feel like playing. I did practice though, and did okay. I should've practiced more, but didn't

I did practice that hard song we did last time, I mean it's hard!

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pet ramps