I only went to one of my exercise classes today because I have a meeting at 7 in this shit town past where I live. I heard they go till 10 sometimes.

I'm a bit nervous because I have to write the story and I'm not good at writing school board articles, I've only written two in my life, I swear it.

So the girl who's going with me, I will be picking her brain asking her how she normally does this.

My boss was such a jerk today, I got home and just started crying because he makes me so angry.

I used to love going to work and paginating and found it fun to be creative and now I hate going to work, I walk through that door and wonder just what I'm going to get yelled at for today, what did I do, what didn't I do?

My mom said to talk to him and ask why he's been so hard on me, but I said I wanted to go to the other manager first.

I'm so tired of it, I could and would cry right now, but I have to leave in a bit for that stupid meeting.

I went to work at 9 and it looks like I'll be working until 10 at this stupid FUCKING meeting, I don't know WHY he put me on this beat when I already have to much to do.

I'm seriously going to start praying to my dear Lord because my time here is up and very past due. I'm tired of this place, tired of this constant critizism each day.

I mean yes, I know that's a job, you do get critized, but not this much, it borders harrassment how he treats me the dirty looks and mean words he gives me each day.

If I would kiss his ass it would be different, but I don't do that.

I'm still angry at that letter this morning, he told me once he always adds in something good about someone with the bad.

To me that's insincere, what he said to me is what he always says, the form sincerity just isn't cutting it anymore.

At work, I just try to stay out of his way and I don't laugh or even talk to him anymore.

I barely laugh anymore at work.

Maybe, just maybe he should realize this, but he's to busy bashing me daily and being mean and embarassing me all the time, it's horrible, I hate it.

What is so bad is if I confront him, I know I will cry. I'm my mother's daughter, whenever we get frustrated we cry.

We don't talk it out we cry it out.

I hate that.

Like now I'm typing this with two fat tears down my face.

I refuse to be a cryer in the office, and refuse to give him that satisfaction.

This could also be my pms here, but maybe one day I will rise up above myself and bark like the bitch I am.

But for now, I don't know what to do, I'm scared to fuck up and scared to go to work for another doom shit bad day because I'm not as perfect as him.

He calls it critiquing, I call it critizism he says to not take it personal? Well fuck you, don't take that personal.

I hate him all over again, I hated him when I first met him and now I am reliving and refeeling all these emotions when I first started.

I'm another mess that no ones ready to clean up yet.

Josh called my cell phone at work today, my phone was freaking out and everyone in the office looked at me. I quickly shut it off and then the voice mail went off making another racket, it said something like 'urgent call' so it rang again and I answered it.

He has a nice, smart sounding voice, opposed to me, who was taken off guard and sounded high pitched and like a teenager, I really hated that to be my first impression on someone. Oh hum. Why must folks call me in the middle of the day when they are working with a=hole bosses who gawk at you because you're on the phone.

Oh well I better go get cleaned up, I don't want to go, I just want to go to bed and I surely do not want to go to work tomorrow, I feel so tired and sad now.

I'm actually enjoying Josh's company, I feel at least, at ease and comfortable with him in ways that I haven't before with most of my net men. To bad he's in his 40's .... Maybe he will let me cry on his shoulder tonight about my work, and help me figure out what to do, how to handle it all.

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pet ramps