I keep on begining to update this thing then my computer crashes or some a-hole comes near my desk at work, so I shut it down quickly.

So I'll try again.

I've been eating bad lately, and I really don't know why. A woman at the office said she just noticed how much I've really lost.

I was like yeah ... well...all these exercise classes must be the ticket.

I took a class on Tuesday, usually I don't do anything Tuesdays, but I figured I'd try it out.

It was circuit training and I liked it a bit, but didn't feel I got a good workout, but the next day I felt achy in my abs and legs. And what was bad, was last night in my aerobics class my legs felt like jello, I felt like I was going to fall at any moment, I don't think my body responded well to the double up of classes, that is three days in a ROW of classes, then one day off, then another on Friday.

I think maybe I'll stick with the Tuesday classes because it's something to do and a class that I won't feel bad on if I skip it once in a while.

I don't like the instructor that much, she's way to cautious like acting like I'm 100 years old or something.

Regardless, I thought I'd better up the classes since this past week I ate out a lot, and that's not typically me since I don't like to eat fast food due to the price.

But today I bought a gallon of milk and oatmeal because it sounds good and I'm tired of the same ol foods.

I think a bowl of oatmeal sounds good for dinner tonight maybe even lunch tomorrow.

Anyway, I did gain weight from my week home, I went from 272 to 276, 5 lb gain! EEK.

I noticed I'm more thirsty now, I mean not hungry, but more thirsty. I sometimes think if I just had a bit liter of diet pepsi/caff. free and maybe a Wasa cracker with a bit of butter on it, I would be full for the night.

Oh well, I feel a bit better anymore, but I look in the mirror and I await for some areas of my body to flatten out. My back is what I really want to slim down, I have this one area that seems to be holding all the fat!

It's creepy, my legs have finally gone in a bit, I should measure again.

But I did buy some new clothes and they nearly fit, but I still have a bit to go to wear them and be comfortable w/o worrying about splitting a seam.

Oh hum.

I have violin tonight and I'm a bit scared since I only practiced for like 10 minutes last night, and that was it in TWO WEEKS.

Last time my teacher yelled at me and really freaked me out, I mean I was like OMG I got mad and scared at the same time.

But now I think of it and feel a bit angry that he was so mean and rude to me. Sheesh SORRY! I RARELY mess up in that class so he did NOT have to corner me out and treat me like some kid who just split grape juice on the carpet.

So I'm still a bit nervous that I'll screw up again.

But fuck, I missed last class and I always seem to forget all these new note changes, like lifting the bow, these stops, double stops, one beat of silence, four beats, two beats....damn it's a lot to remember.

I fare pretty well, but I hate when we do workbook activities because I always freeze up and forget the things...then he has a way of making you feel like you're so stupid to have forgotten.

But still...mmm I think we're learning new notes tonight, but I've studied ahead so far that I know where all of D and A and I think I could do E and G if it came down to it. I just hope I remember where the fly bow is because that's what I forgot last time and that's where he flipped out and got in my face and was saying 'your bow should be going UP and it's going DOWN'

*scream!*

It was freaky!! I still haven't gotten over it. I'm not used to being yelled at as you can tell.

Man I am going to be SO busy for the rest of this month, I have 4 special sections due! Then to gather information for this travel guide thing and blah blah blah! My boss acts like it's a piece of cake, like I have my shit together, but my problem is the people who're supposed to be getting me the info are late and when they are late, I am late.

So I forsee a weekend of work, like working each day for a week, I mean really.

I STILL haven't gotten my raise, I'm waiting to ask because my bosses father just had a heart attack and he had to put him in a home, I don't think he needs the added stress of me, so I've been staying out of his way.

But anyway, I have to send out two resumes this week, it's just getting them together is what is making me batty. I always forget and say I'll do it later...but I guess Saturday I'll just get them all ready and send them out Monday.

My cousin is getting married and I'm supposed to be going to her wedding shower April 5th. I told my sister we should make her a wedding survival kit, I think it's such a cute idea to get her a book on how to write thank you letters, and relaxation items like candles and bath powders ... and I found these cling-on stickers for the wedding day that are for the bridemades, groom, mother of the bride, father...etc. It's cool!

Plus I'm researching bridal items for this special section I'm doing.

It makes me a bit upset because I feel like damn, I have all these ideas when I get married and deep inside I know that's not anytime soon.

Oh well I found a lot of cute ideas. So anyone need tips fucking email me because I swear I could be a bridal planner with all the stuff I have so far.

Besides this, speaking of shitty things. I met this dude off the net, well I found him at LOVE@AOL. I thought he lived an hour away, but he lives like a few streets from where I work.

He's alright, but I see the red flags already.

First is he seems snobby and expects/wants to much. I mean you can't deal out all these "I want my girl to be this ..." etc. That's just gay. Then he smokes pot or some shit.

I'm sorry, but drugs totally turn me off because A. I work the police beat, B. I work the court beat and know what happens if you get caught. C. if I get caught w/ him and he has pot on him, I will get charged as well and I'll be in the paper as a pot head and seriously I am a 'public person' here since I'm a reporter ... and D. I just do not like drugs!

So I'm like ... hmm... I know people can change and if I do meet him and like him then maybe I can ween him from pot.

I know pooks does pot, and it's funny I'm 'okay' with this, but I guess that's because I'm not dating him? But no, that's not it, because I love him like a brother, but maybe ... I don't know.

But still for a potential 'boyfriend' that is something I don't want.

But also he doesn't talk all that much, it's like come on why must I hold the conversation, and I HATE when people say, 'well what else do you want to know?'

What the hell is that.

He sounds like a nerd too, he's 5'11 311! Damn! That sounds pretty big to me, he plays D&D and those role playing games, he doesn't have a college education, he spends time with friends, lives with a roomate, no future asperations to better himself .. and he's 27!?!?

Please, that's a total turn off.

But alas, I will stop these thoughts and maybe just see how it goes.

I just already see somethings that make me think and makes me angry.

I just keep thinking, he wants THIS of a girl when HE doesn't have SHIT? Shouldn't I be the one with the demands?

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pet ramps