It's been such a quick week for me.

HOORAY, my week playing 'editor' is nearly over, I don't have to drive up to that other paper anymore!

I had to gas up my car THREE TIMES last week.

It was crazy, but very stressful, I will breathe a sigh of relief Tuesday when it's all done.

I went to exercise class today and just died, I added a step up on my step and I thought my legs would give out. I thought I could do it, man duh I did step aerobics right after I did strength training for the lower body.

I survived it though and will probably keep that step next week because of how out of breath and sweaty I was. A girl I work with came there to do the class, I didn't like that, it's like that Seinfield episode, having two worlds collide, my exercise world and work world. I didn't like it, I felt like I was on camera or something.

Everyone congratulated me for putting up a step like I'm a retard or something or a baby that just went potty in the toilet for the first time.

Thanks, I muttered.

Man, I'm still red from exercising, my lungs even hurt, I mean really, when I breathe in it feels like sandpaper. Wooo

That's good stuff there, though I also feel light-headed, my teacher says that happens when you work out hard sometimes.

oh well my Mom is being a bitch today, she's being stupid and I don't need this baby shit. My parents are coming up tonight and leaving Sun, then coming back on Thursday till Mon, when I will hopefully leaving w/ them for my week vacation.

*cough*

Oh well, I'm selling this dress I bought for a x-mas party on ebay and it's a size 4x (26-28) and all these fucking girls keep emailing me about measuring the length and shit and the boob size and etc.

I told this one girl that me as a 22/24 fits in it perfectly, she flipped out because she wants it so badly.

I so badly wanted to say 'chill out fatty' in my mean way (me and my sis talk like that to each other and it rubs off on others I guess) anyway, I showed her the site and said look for self. She wanted to know if it didn't fit if she could return it, um NO this isn't god damn lane bryant here.

Oh well, I think I'm slipping into a size 22 now, my 24's are not fitting anymore, in the legs and in the waist. I mean before they fit lenght wise great, but now, they are over my shoes and dragging on the ground.

I realized today I've only been exercise like this for about a month.

Has it really only been an month? That sounds so wrong, maybe a month and 1/2.

Even that sounds weriod, I've been on Atkins nearly that same amount of time.

HM. I'm currently at 274 (I gained 2 lbs back from before) and I started, I think at 285-290? Somewhere there, so what's that, 10 lbs lost?

Damn that sounds like so little.

But I guess I should consider the inches lost.

Which are:

An inch off my thighs

Four inches off my waist and abs

and two inches off my boobs and arms.

I haven't measured myself since last weekend, but I try to measure at least every two to three weeks.

I just wish my weight would drop more, I want to get in the 260's, that's at least closer to 250, which is my ULTIMATE, lordy I don't know why I was 260 lbs last......

What sucks ass is I want to begin taking a class on Tuesdays ... but I also keep thinking about if I get a job somewhere else.

I will have to perserver and join another gym, but man that seems so unlikely, but I think I'd do it. Especially if I get in where my old job was, they have a HUGE gym and we get to go for like $20 a month!

I'd do that for sure, I think I'd be worried about the instructors though and intensity, I hate to be the one lost in class and falling all over, but I guess I'd have to remember that after a while I'd be alright in it.

Okay, I will have to begin saving money, I keep finding all these cute clothes for spring, I swear I hope I'm in a size 20 by then, ooh and my ultimate size I want to be is a 14/16 and the most most dream size is a 12.

I can't imagine this..wow.

Anyway, I over heard this girl in the office talking about having babies, she is 31 and not ready yet, and says she'll have em at 41, wow.

I kept thinking, what would I say to that question, I'd like to have kids, but I don't have a 'donor', not married, etc.

But right now? I don't want a kid, I would if I were in a relationship and about to be married, but...other than this, if I got prego, wow, I'm not ready.

It's funny when pooks talks about having kids, and I want to say, dude...you're gay....don't give me 'when I have kids' bullshit nor that 'I'm bi' shit.

I don't buy it ... heheh

Knowing him, he'll find a girl, get her prego and keep the kid.

My mom is worried that that girl will be ME, I said no way!!!!

I could not imagine that.

Plus what mother would give away her kid like that.

Man when I have kids, hell I'm going to be a protective mama.

But I have a feeling I won't have kids, so...

Plus child birth..ooh I don't like people touching or looking at my body...that'll be fun.

Oh well I'm screwed up. I need to sit down and just wait for my future to start, I wish they'd call me for an interview, I know she got my resume and I have this feeling she won't call because of my lack of experience, but hell that's stupid if I'm good enough, what does that matter....fuck.

I won't upset myself tonight ....

�

pet ramps