I woke up this morning to a very very bright light coming from my bedroon window.

At first, I thought I had died and was seeing the 'light' then I realized that my back really hurt and that I couldn't be dead because of that.

Then I thought it was the sun, but it wasn't because the sun doesn't exist anymore in Michigan.

Then I realized it's a another fucking storm and my windows are cover in snow and the house is freezing because the wind that is getting in every corner and through the cracks in the windows and underneath the doors.

Bastards.

I got up and looked outside and at the snow I'd have to shovel all that drifting snow. I got on the scale then and found I'd lost three pounds, I started in disbelief, it said 274 on the scale, I thought I was dreaming. After a pig weekend of bad eating, I was surprised. Not to mention for two weeks straight my exercise class on Fri had been called off.

It was weriod, but somehow I knew since all day yesterday I was running to the bathroom every five minutes.

So I got dressed, talked to my mom on the phone and finally went outside and walked through the snow to my car. I shoveled to strips down the drive so I could get out, my car is running weriod, it's revving for no reason and the acerator gets stuck and I have to push hard, which then revvs up my car.

What a mess. Must be the ice, and I wonder when that will melt off since this weeks highs are in the single digits.

Oh well, I hope that guy plows my drive or else I'm up a creek, last night I had to back my car up and then speed up the driveway, my car started to fishtail, it was like a rollercoaster.

Oh well, I have my exercise class tonight, last Fri, it was called off and I went anyway and did the Elliptical trainer for 15 mins and walked on the treadmill for about 10 minutes. Wasn't a glorious workout, but it did the trick.

I'll pay for this tonight my teacher always likes to work us hard after these times off.

I'm thinking of going home on Thurs and come back on Sunday.

But I'm not sure I want to because of snow and because I don't want to miss my classes. I'd be missing violin and aerobics.

I have to write a story on this Jazzercise class and the woman is giving me a chance to go for free for one class. To bad they are on Mon. and Wed. at 6:30 which is when I go to my classes at the health center...I could go sat but that's at 9 a.m. and I'd have to be out of the house by 8:30!

Plus she said if you like dancing you'll like this, I wanted to say, I'm very uncoordinated, I mean in my step class, I don't fare that well, it's either or with me, either use my legs, or use my arms, not both or I trip all over.

I'll see how it goes.

Anyway, I have a headache again, I think because I only ate half a muffin (low carb) for breakfast ... I dont' like to eat breakfast at all, it's just gross to me.

So, anyway, I think I'll go eat in a few, I'm hungry, I think. I swear I never know when I feel hungry, I mean now I feel a bit hungry, but I know I could go on working another hour or two w/o feeling like I'm going to die.

ooh, I emailed my old paper to see if they still had my resume on file for this news designer position. The women emailed me back and said yes and she wanted me to send in more samples of my work to look at...ee! I was happy because damn she wants to see more samples of my work, that's hopeful at least. Mom says the new paginator they hired isn't faring well with a lot of mistakes in the paper lately.

My boss let me paginate the WHOLE paper last night, so I took my time and today he said it was my best work, it looked fantastic. I was happy and I am going to send this paper to this lady because I think it looks great.

I took like 10 copies of the paper so whenever I try for other positions, I don't want to have complete hope with this job prospect, because I always end up getting let down.

I just need an interview, that's all I need, I'd feel better at least with that, knowing that they want to meet me and see me. That would be so great great great. I do excellent in interviews, I know how to BS and I also know what they want to hear.

But it's just making that step that is so hard. I'm going to write this lady a letter and send my clippings and mostly tell her that all I need is a chance and room to grow because there they have a certain style and don't like to go beyond it.

So, I'm happy about this, I need to sit down tonight and write out my letter and send off the envelope asap. She said at the earliest they are going to hire someone in Mid-March. So...three weeks or so they will look.

I always wonder just how many people are looking for news design jobs?? I mean really. I can't believe there are so many, I just can't.

My boss told me today I might have to go to our weekly paper and run it for a week while the editor is gone, just to get it all together and then lay out and paginate the paper.

This sounds alright, but scary, I don't know how in the hell to do that lol. But I know that dumbass they had do it before will do it this time, she's stupid and her layout never works, it's either to big or not enough room, I wonder if she puts any thought into it at all.

Oh well I'll have to cope with this when it comes. I just keep wishing that somehow I will get a new job by then and not have to worry about this coming up. Like thinking I won't have to worry about all those spring sections, but deep down, I feel that it will be hard to find a job even with my years experience, I just hope someone gives me a chance. I know I can design as well as others and also know I can learn any style of a paper.

What's another year of experience? I don't see myself changing all that much.

Oh well, see where hope gets me? Into some freakish thought that soon my time in this jail will be up and I'll be out on parole.

Oh well, I'm sitting here and I'm really cold, they must turn off the heat back here to save money or something. Yesterday I felt so fat, I mean I just felt huge for some reason. I looked in the mirror and wanted to cry I think cheating screwed me up. I went home and felt very alone then and was half hoping to have someone surprise me by a visit. But no, I took a shower and came out to hear a convict had escaped...I got all freaked out like it was some movie and the convict was in my house.

Oh well, my jeans are not fitting me anymore, I can pull them down w/o unzipping/unbuttoning them. they slide down to my hips now, and feel creepy. I need to start getting smaller clothes, or actually trying them on.

I got a pair of 22's on, and then Sat. I got a pair of 24's that fit fine.

Why are sizes so screwy.

Oh well I just ate lunch and forgot about my diary here, opps!

It stopped snowing, but it's just cold now. I can't believe it's 1 o'clock already, I have to leave by 4 for my class. I think I'll dress their today, somehow running outside in thin exercise pants doesn't seem wise.

I have so much to do coming up, I don't know when to take that Jazzercise...I'm a bit worried about it..oh well it's only once class....ehehhe

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pet ramps