I've been very cranky all day, like crazy cranky.

I got my new printer today and it got screwy with the monitor fucking up because of something. It only does it when it gets near the printer or something with that. I got so mad I hit the tower and spat out some curse that would make my mom's hair curl.

I don't know why I've been in such a shit mood. Yesterday it began with getting home and having to shovel out the drive way when that fuck that I pay didn't come.

This morning was the same, I shoveled all over again, it snowed all day and then I wondered if I would be able to get to my exercise class. SO I shoveled once more (the snow was relentless, it came down all day) so, I shoveled again.

I'm very irratiable (sp?!) for some reason, my temper is VERY short.

All day it's been like this, I drop shit and then get pissed off, then I feel like I'm so damn fat that I'm not losing enough.

I'm never like this, I mean I could cry right now and I'm getting pissed off now for no reason, in my exercise class I wanted to yell at the teacher!

ME! Yell at the teacher!? I was pissed because she put this new way to step up in tonight and I wanted to say fuck I barely have the first way, then doing arm movements and then other things. I was just angry.

So, anyway, I got my printer and the fucks didn't include a USB cable to hook it up, so I ran to Kmart, which didn't have it, then to Radioshack and had some a-hole cashier.

Fuckers. I'm getting mad all over again because this page keeps loading and clicking for no reason. Ug. Why am I like this? Is this really PMS, or am I depressed or stressed?????

I heard tomorrow we're getting another storm and this will last until Sunday, so I'm already at ends since I work Sundays, LATE and have to drive 30 mins to get home and my FUCKER night editor, whom I despise because he won't let me go early when weather is bad, is going to sit there tomorrow night and bawk at the Super Bowl and smack his lips while I sit there boiling over in hatred for this man. I will then get PISSED because I know I'll drive home in this FUCKING SNOW and get scared that I'm going to DIE because weather is SO FUCKING BAD HERE BECAUSE I'M IN GOD DAMN HELL ... I'll get home and have to shovel ... then go to bed and wake up early to begin the day all over and have to SHOVEL AGAIN. Go to work, go exercise, come home and SHOVEL AGAIN.

Fuck, I'm so pissed and I'm so tired of this. I keep hating this place more and feeling more in the dumps, I need a break from this all because I'm just so damn tired of all of this shit. Maybe this is cabin fever, maybe it is PMS, maybe I am going into a depression, but I'm just so tired of all of this, and I'm just tired of being so pissed off all the time and I can't help this constant feeling of being angry, I really can't. I'm bitter and mean anymore, and I try to pretend I'm nice and I just don't feel nice.

My violin teacher told me I was the most kind-hearted, nice girl and I just laughed at her.

Okay now I really am crying, maybe that will release these crazy toxins in my body, maybe this will relieve my stressful thoughts of the realist hellish Sunday I will have with snow and my fuck nut boss who has no sympathy for me who has to drive in this type of weather and has to work late and deal with the night editor and me who has to work for this low pay and me who just feels ... so ignored and taken for granted.

I really miss my carefree college days, all that free time, my home my friends, my sister, my bed, my dog. I just miss home still, I know it will never be the same but I just keep wishing it would be or could be again and yet I know it won't. I just feel so lost as if I don't belong anywhere nor feel happy anymore. I don't know why now I feel like this but maybe this is why I've been so pissed off.

I just need a vacation from my life.

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pet ramps