Sometimes, I feel like I could be a writer, like someone publishable. Then other times I feel like I can't, I won't, I'm not like the rest, and not that isn't good, it's like I don't have that drive, or that creativity.

Just like when I do page design, sometimes I feel like I'm an ace at it, yet other times, like lately, I feel like I can barely design a page. I don't know if my problem is limited resources, or maybe I'm stuck in some immaturity with design. Because truly I look at alot of "professional" pages and none of mine look so neat and clean and professional as theirs do.

Oh well I have to go to aerobics in about 5 to 10 minutes. I feel hot right now, my cheeks are on fire. I don't know why, I think the diet pepsi has something in it. Oh damn it to hell. I also have PMS badly, this morning I ... made a mess ... if you get what i mean. I thought it was ending, boy I was wrong.

Oh well, that's gross to talk about, but hey it's my diary.

Oh well, I don't know if I lost, but I did just buy more clothing from Eddie Bauer only because they have 70 percent off. So that's lovely, sales, that is. I know I have to many clothes as it is, and I have to wonder if I will lose enough to not be able to wear them. I've only one pair of pants that aren't wearable anymore, or they look huge on me. But the clothing I bought was in smaller sizes, but not small enough that I can't wear them now, because that's fucked up, I know it will be cold here for about 5 more months, it didn't get hot in Michigan until JULY last year, yes July. It was in the 60's, 70's in June, as I recall.

So I did buy a pair of pants, a jacket in 2x that I know won't fit because it's to small, I got a cartigan that is universal even if I do lose I will be able to wear it and I got a oxford shirt in a 3x, where sizes run small, I think I'll be alright.

Oh well, I better get going to class, be prepared to sweat your ass off now Jen, this class KILLS ME, each time, especially in lower body, I just can't cope with that, it's so so very hard for me to do lower body, I mean horrid.

We're getting a winter storm tonight and tomorrow, oh fucking joy, I can't wait to shovel again. I shovel when I get up and when I get home, just to keep up so it doesnt pile up, I shouldn't complain, it is exercise, but it's been just to cold, that it hurts to breathe and my hands begin to hurt so bad. I think I'll change my gloves and just hurry shovel tonight. Or maybe just wait till tomorrow...we'll see, all I know is I must keep up with it, like...I don't know, I can't think of a metaphor right now, it's like an animal I must care for, or else it'll get wild and uncontainable and I'll be in regret...I don't know.

I can't wait to stop PMS, I feel so bloated, ew.

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pet ramps