Damn I was bidding on this beautiful silver ball gown and someone bid on it in the last few moments! That's so unfair, it had a reserve that wasn't met so I hope that snatch doesn't get it. UG. It was gorgeous, though I probably wouldn't wear it except for once. OH well.

I already have a dress in mind for my annual fancy X-mas party with my friend's family. It's black georgette, well here's the link to it if you want to see it:

http://www.alight.com/11291555.html

plus it's cheap $52 bucks is alright in my book. I also found a necklaces I kinda want to buy to go with it. Located here: http://www.loralie.com/jewelrys.php3?s=108160

But I don't know yet what I want to get for this party. I think Pooks is going to go with me again. So I want to kind of be in a comfortable dress without feelin fat. I'll probably wear a girdle with that dress, and probably buy some of those nylons that only go to your thigh. I like those a lot. Get some high heels...oh yeah.

I was thinking in the tub last night of waking up early and exercising and losing weight for x-mas. I don't know when to order my dress. I just ordered some girdles to wear under my pants becauseI have those thigh hugging pants and my thighs look nasty, so hell. I also ordered some more clothes from www.torrid.com I know it's that gothic crazy wear, but some of it is okay. I ordered some nice jeans and tshirt on sale and was so happy with them, even though the sleep pants don't fit me yet >:(

So though I'm not a morning person, I think I should lose a bit of weight because I HATE to waste these clothes. It's like throwing out money, I can't do that. So ooo ooo I'm thinking three mornings a week...ooh well actually only two! I'm off fridays ... so Monday and Wed if I wake up kinda early, walk/run for like 30 mins ... yeahhh shower and get to work in a hour. I think that sounds do-able and on my non-walking days it's resistance bands. I used to work out like this before when I was in college, when I officially lost 40 lbs. Yes I did this once before. Can you believe it?

Oh well I moved all my stuff at work down to another station and now am by myself in my own "pod" it's strange and kinda nice to be alone. My boss says he has to walk 45 minutes to get to me...I'm just across the newsroom. It's nice. So I hope he doesn't forget that I am taking a 1/2 day thurs.

PLUS, I think I'm moving up into the spec. sec. coordinator position because that's all I do anymore is just paginate and i wonder how I will ever get a job as a reporter.

Oh well, I forgot what I was going to say..damn it! I do this so much anymore, I was talking to my mom and I totally lost my train of thought. I drew a blank, I was like, what the fuck is wrong with me!?!

UG! Hate that.

So anyway, ee I can't wait to go home this weekend, I did have to skip my first violin lesson because I need this mini vacation. I am going to the teachers house tomorrow and going to pay him and get the books from him so I can practice and I'm taking one of the old violins for him to fix. I didn't tell him I was bringing it, so I hope he doesn't get mad or feel strange that I brought it, but he did say he'd try to fix it. Plus he was so happy I got his press release in the paper twice for him, so he kind of "owes me" this little request.

Oh well, I'm thinking of dying my hair a lighter shade of blonde. I swear I'm becoming into my own with my clothing, I like to dress up anymore and only buy things I LIKE and never think if my MOM likes it, because I used to wear some granny looking shit. Now I'm like trendy whore-ish. Or one of those strange folks who dresses like ... artistic? I guess I am artistic since I design these special sections. I can't help it, I love designing the covers and planning what will go where and what to do. It's fun kinda.

Oh well, I gotta get to bed, though I feel like I'm just awake. The bat has been quite. That fucker. The past two days I didn't hear anything and I kept getting paranoid that it somehow got up in the house, so any time I hear a creak I go inspect for a bat and get scared and then feel wild cause I would kill it mercylessly. Roar!

Oh well I keep feeling like I want to lose weight fast and I know I can't, I know it's wrong! But I keep looking at the shit I want to wear and I gotta lose at least 10 lbs to wear em! Fuck! I think I'd feel better if I actually got STARTED doing something. I am trying to cut back, it's hard though. I'm just gonna have to get back on Atkins or just basic low-carb eating.

There's a curves center here and I wonder what it's all about, I mean .... what is Curves for women?

I should call.

I feel like seeing pooks this weekend, I have NOT seen him since LAST fucking MARCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOW! It's been so long! I heard he's gained weight, but he smokes a lot of pot and smokes cigs, not too good...maybe I will say hey pooks lets go play pool or go bowling...that sounds like so much fun, though we are both wanting to win badly and get pissed when the other wins, he makes me competitive when in reality I'm not since I most always lose ...I suck in bowling and in pool......eep.

Or ooh playing a board game...woo hoo I love doing that, I always do pretty good in games like that or cards.

Plus I get to see my dog! Eee my little baby I haven't seen him in so long. I miss him sometimes, today I looked at his toys and felt like rubbing his velveteen ears and then when he does that half bark or when you open up the gate in the morning and he looks at you tired and slowly gets out of his bed and you know he's cold and he looks at you lovingly and wags his tail...aww...or when he falls asleep on you or sleeps with you under the covers and you feel the rise and fall of his breathing on your legs as he begins dreaming about chasing rabbits and does little barks in his sleep....awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I miss having a pet.

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pet ramps