Wow it's been a long time since I wrote in here, I mean a really long time? I can't remember the last time I wrote...

Gosh, so anyway, my parents came for the weekend with my sis and dog, and they just left about 2 hrs ago. I didn't cry, but I felt like it. So I hopped on the treadmill and walked 50 minutes, showered ate a cheese dog and salsa (I MADE! EE ;) ) and chips and a can of RC.

So now it's almost 1:15 and I want to go to work somewhat early because my boss is being strange on hours, he changed everyone and then of course he doesn't realize that I have to use a computer to do some pages, and etc. etc. he wants me to work now 1 to 9 and I want to say, I can't. But he's the boss I guess.

I have a eye glass apt. tomorrow, my insurance covers jack SHIT. I mean my parents gave me $400 to help pay, I am taking my old glasses in to see if they can put the new glass in them. I don't want to have to pay $300 for frames and then $200 for the glass. My insur. supposedly picks up my eye exam costs, though I must pay $15. I'm going to try to cut costs and then give whatever I've left of that money back to my parents. I don't like this. I mean I realized that my job pays SHIT and that I must depend on my parents a lot. No no.

So my old job is offering a staff writer position where I internshiped at!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

This is EXCELLENT NEWS. They KNOW me, the only thing that worries me is the experience level they are seeking.

I'm calling tomorrow morning, the ad on the internet said to call this chick that is the editor, I guess she is weeding out the job seekers, maybe she's saying no to the unexperienced, ala' me. Or maybe not many are applying since the area is close to Gary, Ind. and just a small section of our big paper.

I won't get my hopes up, I'm thinking that either she'll give me a line or she'll be short and say, "sorry hun, try back when you've more experience."

She was a nice lady, but very abrasive and very intimidating, which is probably why she's editor.

I hope she'll remember me.

I kept thinking, hell hell hell I'll get an apt. when I move home, and then seeing the costs, it's like damned if I do damned if I don't.

Oh well, It's really cold in Mich. right now, it's in the 50's-60's and I'm kinda cold right now, and kind of tired. I don't feel like working tonight and I'm feeling like I don't know what I want in life again. I think moving home for this job is what I've been praying and asking for and thank you god for tossing me this little cookie and before when I was called for that interview that I turned down, maybe it's a form of hope, or maybe for me to think what exactly am I looking for.

Then I realize that if/when I move home and live at home and my parents move out and if my sis buys our house and I pay rent to her, would it really really be worth it?

I then realize that I'm still single and that when I get home I should really begin the game and try seriously to date, even if it's only internet men, something, anything, I need new relationships somehow, and if I'm in my own apt. how much easier it will be, I can leave on my own and answer to no one, drive all over and not worry.

Most of the men that hit on me - in the net are from the Chicago area, or from far off lower Indiana, will I be willing to drive to meet them? I would say so. This one guy I met lived a bit to far though, he was past Chicago, ala' 1 1/2 hr drive more or less, I don't want to drive through Chicago, that scares me since I suck pretty much with directions, so I think I should start putting up front what I want in a relationship when I meet these men.

I also wonder why I can't meet men in person? I mean I've talked to guys in person and the ones that I think would toss me a date are ones that are weriod or way to old.

But that's only in Michigan.

I think being a reporter has helped me a lot, I mean alot with my personal life because I just go up and talk to people and know how to round em up and be fake and make them feel comfortable.

So we'll see.

I'm not getting my hopes up, I'm not getting myself down, I'm not going to expect anything, I don't know what she'll say when I ask her about the job, but I'm not going to get all huffy and make plans.

�

pet ramps