Gosh I haven't updated in a while, just been busy busy busy!

I'm getting over time because of all the work that must be done. I will be very very "rich" with my next paycheck, which is great since I need fall clothing ... and need to save money.

I sent out at least 4 resumes this week alone, one I'm sending off tomorrow. It's funny I send them out thinking, gosh I feel like I could actually get a interview with this one ... mail it off and never hear from anyone at all.

It's like I'm a chicken sending my chicks off into the world and hoping that one at least will come back to say, hey let's talk. Oh well ... someone HAS to reply sometime, come on now, some I'm trying for is entry-level! I think I've more than enough for entry-level, I worry that because I'm so "far" away they don't bother, I mean I put my Indiana address on it and I'm applying for Illinois jobs, I don't know if they think I'm in boofoo, I can't imagine if I put my Michigan address, lord I've had a worse chance now wouldn't I?

Oh well, I'm alone tonight, just me and the dog. My parents took my grandma home, who was quite annoying, she's going deaf and won't get a hearing aid, so I don't bother to talk much since she can't hear me and I don't know how high to raise my voice, she makes me feel like she doesn't care what I have to say anyway or thinks I'm an idiot. Anyway, parents come back tomorrow and stay till Monday. Then leave with the dog and I'm cast to alone-ness again.

Then I go home on Tuesday and stay till MONDAY, well that's if my plans go correctly.

I"m think that snatch I work with, will fuck up my plans by her bitching and moaning about having to paginate. I can't stand her.

I have a feeling when I get home Monday, I'll have to go into work to begin pagination on that fucking paper. I'm so tired of paginating, writing, I'm tired of my job. I sometimes wish I could do a job that's easy and simply, like cashier ... secretary ... something ... not like this shit where if you do anything wrong, you might as well quit.

Today I fucked up a few times, my computer crashed and didn't save a important edit, I didn't know, but I should've checked it... then I put the pages together incorrect .. last night I didn't do the comics section ....

I heard all of these today as I sat in the publishers office with my boss and both of them looking at me like I'm some FUCKING idiot. I kept thinking, you fucking assholes wait till I say "I"M GIVING MY TWO WEEKS YOU BASTARDS, how DARE you treat me like I'm SHIT on your shoe for SO LONG. That is the REASON I'm leaving."

I want to tell my boss I started looking seriously for jobs when he put me on probation and then said "Don't worry about it"

Fuck you. Fuck your reprimands. Fuck your files and fuck your shitty attitudes.

I hate where I work and the people I work with, sometimes I look at them and then get teary eyed because I hate them and know I'll have to begin this all again tomorrow and then go home to a lonely house and then...feel as if I don't know myself anymore.

Sometimes I sit there and wonder if I look as sad as I feel. My boss asked if I was tired the other day, I said, "yes" and he said, "well you look like hell."

Thanks, this is where I'm working, in a nut-shell, the people I work with, well, look and read the last paragraph again and maybe you will see why I get so depressed here.

I feel stuck.

Pooks is being a complete asshole as well, I asked him to go to Indy with me and he doesn't even email me back, he doesn't even dain to talk to me. I'm tired of this.

I need to get new glasses, I keep having horrid head-aches. They get so bad that I feel like I could fall asleep or faint, or something at any time. I think it's because of the computer work all day, stress ... etc. I'm very overworked this weekend, I'm at least 10 hours in over time already. It's been two weeks and I've had NO DAYS OFF. Isn't this against the law? It's funny I'm working so hard and still being treated like shit.

I hate these people, I won't lie and I won't be fake and say it's all alright, I want out and I feel like I'm at least doing something with passing out my resumes as if they were candy. I wonder if I'll be happy in my next job, but being at home, is happiness in itself. Just home home home is good for me. I miss my sister.

I think I've gained weight, I mean I got my period and been eating like a pig. I've been eating carbs like there is no tomorrow. Yet everyone says it looks like I'm losing again. I don' tknow how this can be. I plan on getting back on my diet, especially walking on the treadmill now that Grandma is gone. I miss exercising, I really like walking. I must begin to eat better as well. Oh well ... I caught my imagine while walking down the street in a store window. I stopped dead in my tracks and realized I'm not as fat as I seem, I looked and thought, damn I'd have a cute shape if only I'd lose. I saw my stomach looking big and my ass/thighs. But definately smaller than before. More streamlined. I think I need to get back losing, I was at 273, then 275 ... it varies anymore. I think stress is what is making my metabolism rock. I mean it's crazy I'm losing by feeling like this.

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pet ramps