Today went by so fast, it's strange, I zipped by before, but lately I'm behind. I think because people kept bothering me, tomorrow I have to do it all over again....

I'm going out to dinner with my parents, I have to leave work at 5, so hopefully I won't feel guilty when I leave.

Oh well, I watched on MTV that show where people talk about things in their lives that is hard, so they had on gay people. Man alive, I just cannot believe how parents shut the door on their kids that come out! Damn, plus this one story where the boy came out to his mom, man I can see why they have a higher percentage of sucicide, it looks so hard when everyone goes against you. Damn, I feel kinda sorry for them. I kept thinking, what if I had a kid that was gay? I wouldn't even mind, I don't think, since I know a few gay guys and they're the same as everyone, it's just stupid.

Oh well, I talked to a lady today who's on Atkins and started March 3, 2002 and is now 62 lbs lighter.

Damn, that's something. I can't image that, hell, I'd be at 228, holy shit!

oh well, I've walked on the treadmill each day this week, just feels so good to get away. My parents banging on the door while I walk away. Plus stress at work.

I found a job I could try for at home and now I wonder if I should stay till August then try.

That'll be ... 7 months experience???

I don't know, should I try, not like I'll get it. I don't like feeling guilty either for leaving them training me and me saying bye bye.

But that's business isn't it. They have a high turn over rate, the man I replaced worked there not even a year, just like me.

Newspaper business is strange like that, you get a year under your belt, get another year, get 5 years and you can get a job anywhere! I mean it's great, kinda, like that. It's just getting in those years that's the hard part. Selling yourself like a whore so you can get a good job.

Plus ... you're a public person, like a governor, or so said my boss, "you're in the public eye Jen, you'd make front page if you ever got drunk and got a OUIL."

Nice ... I remember at the old paper when a editor got drunk and arrested, he made his own brief.

That sucks, yet it's cool.

oh well, Lordy it's strange anymore that my pants don't fit when they used to be tight. How can this be, I think all the time. Then now, I am used to eating the same things, I don't miss the carb's, just the sugar, in which I still get with fake sugars. Not to bad, and no carb or sugar candy bars actually ARE heavenly.

So I know this diet works, and then I wonder when I can eat like a carbo fool again. I know the girl at the bar where I live did this diet, she is so thin, so stick thin, when before she was like a size 22/20 and now she must be a 8 ... but she said she eats whatever she wants now and still hasn't gained, she was on it a few months.

So I wonder if I get to my size that I will even want my lips to grace carbo's freely, without worrying that I'll gain it all back, if or when I get to that size, I will never come back to this.

Oh well, I also noticed that I keep having weriod heart palpations. I mean so bad that I can't breathe and feel faint. But this is after like, going up the stairs to fast, or like when I picked up my dog really fast and then bent down holding him to get something off the floor and there it was again. I kept feeling like my chest would burst, I waited for my heart to stop beating. I think it's stress related.

Oh well, Franklin - my baby turtle - found the little house I bought him today, I threw his food in it so he'd go in there, then he went in there for a while and was like, "wow" so goodie, I think he'll feel better being able to hide away. I'm going to get a bigger tank, and a water filter. He at least isn't running from me that much anymore, he looks up at me now when I dump in some cricket parts and then gobbles them up so fast, I peer in and think to myself I'd just die if he ever bit me with that mouth.

I did notice he still has that egg tooth on his snout. Poor little baby, he must hate this captivity...don't we all fell that way ... always climbing up that glass wall ... then slipping on the rocks and falling back into your cage and just wait for that hand of God to give you your nourishment.

Oh yeah babyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

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pet ramps