I remember when I talked to my friend at the paper he said his first reporting job was nuts, like 24 hours a week or did he say 60 hours? I thought that was stupid until I realized that is how much I work nearly each week.

Today was a bad day, just a day that as soon as I got home I burst into tears and just sobbed my eyes out like a baby.

I'm tired, I'm stressed I'm worn out.

I'm taking tomorrow off. My boss is being stupid he said becuase there are 3 graduations on the day I want to go home, that I might not be able to go and "he'll see" and he gave me a silly ass look like he was saying, "well what can you do ...."

I wanted to smack that look off his face. He then made me go to some shit ball game and then later I found out I didn't have to go.

I worked 10 hours today.

I am so upset, if he doesn't let me go to the Field friday I will be so angry and bitter. I will be a bitch because I can't explain how much I love museums and that at one time I wanted to work in one.

I cry when I think of not begin able to go, it means SO MUCH TO ME, and he doesn't realize it, no one does, my family doesn't.

I probably sound like a temper tantrum, or spoiled girl, something, but I don't care, if he doesn't let me go, oh will I be so very unhappy and try my damnest to leave here. After all the things I've done for him, never once complaining, never once asking for anything. No I worked your holidays and then did everything you asked for yet, you can't ask another reporter to cover a graduation??

Like I said, if I don't go, that's IT.

I will not try my damnest, I will not be pleasant happy Jen that I always act like, I will be quiet and meek.

Yes, I will throw a tantrum, I don't give a fuck what anything thinks. I just think I deserve this one day off becuase of all the things I've done for this SHIT PAPER. If he gave me a good excuse, I could understand, but not that fucking look that will be in my mind FOREVER. ASSHOLE

I feel it all over again, why am I here and oh how I hate it so much here that I could leave tomorrow and not regret, Why am I here, I hate it here so much and it's hard to hide it sometimes when people ask how I like it. I want to say, I fucking hate it here. I want out so bad I'm trying for secretary jobs, anything to get out of here, this hell.

Fuck Michigan. I just want to go home to my own room and to faces I know and to places I know and then be happy happy happy that I will never leave home again.

I am just having one of those days where I think I will just cry all night, I haven't cried in some time and it feels nice to have some real emotion other than my fake self I show everyone. I am so tired of my life, I need a change. I just don't want to even talk to anyone, no one understands, they are just there to judge and try to fix it, and give one line "who cares" sayings, I'm so tired of everyone and everything. I feel like just saying, leave me the fuck alone for a while so I can get over all your selfishness.

UG. I hate everyone.

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pet ramps