Today was very very long. I am tired of being told what to do, told I'm doing things wrong, being misunderstood, and then feeling unappreciated.

All I want to say, is fuck you all to hell.

Then, I had to shoot the funeral today, it was so sad. I loved the preacher, he did a wonderful talk on God and how we question why, and good things. I was like fuck if church was like this, I'd probably go. I didnt want to cry at all during the funeral, but when he spoke I did, I so understood him, like asking god why he'd take the 3 boys lives....and why we turn to god in times like this.

It was very interesting, there were so many people there sobbing, it was in a school gym, and it was filled to the gills.

One of the fire fighters came up to me and talked to me, told me the nitty gritty, things I didnt want to know, but listened anyway.

"Oh, their bodies ..." "burnt.." I didn't want to hear this about a 20,14, and 10 year old....

Oh well, I want to quit in the worst way, I'm tired of my coworkers ...... I'm hoping Purdue comes through somehow, even though it's a shot in the dark.

Oh well I ate bad today, fuck it. I had a pie lovers pudding cup, it was SO GOOD.

But I just want pop right now, I guess I'm dehydrated from today...

Tomorrow I'm going to work later so I can sleep and maybe feel like each day doesnt run into the next, like a continuous Monday or something.

That's how I feel since i have to work this fucking weekend, thanks a lot, everyone has their family with them ALL THE FUCKING TIME, but not ME, yet my parents are coming up this weekend and I HAVE TO FUCKING WORK?

Is that fair!?

I want out, can I go back in time and stay put in the old paper, I swear I'll never wonder "what if"

I swear it, God please give me the Purdue job, I swear even then I will never wonder "what if I had stayed?"

I swear it.

�

pet ramps