Boy o boy, I fucking hate my job.

Anyway, I got an email from Purdue and they said they'd keep my resume for 6 months and if I want to try for another job, just call or email them and I won't have to resend my resume. They begin reviewing resumes for this job FRIDAY! Eep, the day I won't hear from them, but they will, if they do call, will be Monday.

Eep. Oh well, hopeful, yet I know I won't even get an interview, my ma said I will, then said, "Jen when will you be able to interview?"

Oh well, I will make it. I will have to say, it can only be a Saturday.

But it's hard to have hope when I have THAT feeling that I know in my heart I don't have enough experience.

Um ah, I should begin exercising soon, I feel fat, I just wanted to wait till I get over my cold.

Anyway, today I watered the flowers I planted, some fucking squirrel or animal keeps digging them up! Ass holes! Damn damn! the two that were dug up are nearly dead, I replanted and then watered, they are wilted and then I begin to see that sometimes I feel like them in my career, always uprooted, then replanted and begin to wilt, around the healthy ones, I guess either way, planted or kept out, I will wilt ... well here at least.

So uncontent.

Ug, my feet hurt today, I don't know why, not like I walked or anything.

Everyone was so cranky and mean. I can't believe the things people say, it's like, even as a joke that's not funny. Like the girl who taught me/goes over my pagination, she's like "Let me see your pages so I can see all the mistakes you always make," then she smirks, "I'm just kidding."

Or my boss, after joking with me, he jokes, "Did you even do your hair today?" I said "NO" mean/sarcastic, bitchy and he's like "oh ha ha neither do I or ..." some other co-worker.

That is their joke style here, I hate it, that's not jokes to laugh it's jokes to hurt.

I hate this place in my life, everyone says when I look back I'll miss it. No, when I look back I'll be relieved that it's over.

I'm just worried how I will react when I learn that I didnt' get an interview and/or the job. I mean that's like instant shit feeling, hopelessness, I don't mean to pine myself on a job that isn't even really .... not like a reporting job...but...still it's home! Still it's a pay raise, and to begin classes. .... Monday to Friday 8 to 5, that leaves time for class at night.

Oh well, let me just get through this week and I'll be okay. Mom and dad come up Thursday.

I'm so confused.

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pet ramps