I woke up this morning with a night terror, I think. I thought there was a mouse under my pillow. lol

I don't know why, but I've done that twice so far, I know a mouse couldn't get in my bed or under my pillow, yet I always wake up fast and start feeling under my pillows with my hands. I find nothing and then realize I'm acting like I'm crazy.

My sister has night terrors all the time, mine seem to be in the morning, hers are late at night and very much worse. For about three weeks she had me every night running into her bedroom to see if she was okay. Then she sleepwalks sometimes and of course talks in her sleep. Funky sleeper.

ANYWAY, I woke up to such a bright day, I peered out the window from my bed and the lawn is just beautiful, it's so green and the trees are flowering. Spring is 2 weeks ahead here, though Michigan the grass is very green, even though we had snow Friday morning, which never sticks, but still is annoying.

I probably shouldn't come home like this. Each time I get all the more homestick and each time wonder what would happen if I just stayed home and never went back. I was trying to talk to my friends, but they never seem to want to listen to me anymore. Thanks, a lot. There is that job in Portage that I want to go for, yet that is 30 mins away of driving on a horrible express way. I can only image what winter would be like, not to mention if I were to get that job, I would be covering the dune lands on Lake Michigan, ala' driving my little car into forest reserves and shit to interview. HM. Still, I would be home, working at the same paper, but in a different location, work there for a year, then try to move to Munster, where I want to be.

Or stay in Michigan, work and work another year and hope Munster takes me.

Or wait and wait wondering if they will call for any of the two jobs open in Munster, because they take FOREVER to call you .... I just have a feeling they won't.

I wonder why my friend said to send my resume, I guess for them to know I am hot on their trails for a job and letting them know the Jenny Storm will hit after summer.

How can late summer be so far? I'm thinking working 8 months is something to reckon with, and that's September for me, and there after is pretty good to show. Even though if you add up my past experiences with writing, it adds up to a year of serious news writing.

Hm, I have to be sly about everything. Is that a bad thing?

Oh well, I ate horrid yesterday. Breakfast was a donut, lunch was meatballs my mom made ( I LOVE THEM) but I only had like 4 small ones (plus it's lean meat) I had a roll with that w/ cheese, dinner was my fav. restaurant, deep dish pizza (1 slice) and poppers and a glass of pop. I went home got stick to my stomach, so maybe I didn't digest any of those calories.

I'm not used to greasy, rich food. In Michigan I don't keep cheese at the house. I don't know why, but cheese there just sounds gross. Plus I don't really crave anything there. I get home though, and I'm like a eating machine, like right now I have a taste for chocolate pudding and it's only 10 in the morning.

My friends and I are going to walk in the park that's a street away from our house, I'm taking my dog even though I think I will have to carry him half the way because he's so tiny and we walk so fast and up 2 blocks of the parkway.

I'm missing home so much right now. In the spring it's like you can walk outside forever and come back and garden and everything is great. Right now I have the patio door open and can hear the cars on the express way, I hear a plane going over and hear trains. I love the life here. There is a poodle farm (they breed poodles) and they are barking and fighting, I am so used to it, I barely notice it.

I miss this kind of stuff. I was telling a woman about how I moved and I said I kind of like Michigan, and she said "I can tell you don't like it here. (I nodded) that is understandable because Indiana is your home." Ah someone who understands me. It felt good for once.

Oh well I also smoked two cigarettes yesterday and had half a shake (I got stick to my stomach at that point, very rich shake). I don't know why I smoked, just felt like it. My friend is going to get something else to possibly "smoke" tonight and I'm not sure if I want to do that again....

Oh well okay, so I'm going to walk in the park today, clean my car out since I have food on the floor of my car since I eat lunch in my car and have sand in there from shitty Michigan, I'm going to see Spiderman hopefully today. Then try to finish this PC game, like the loser I am, THEN tonight watch TV to my hearts content in my room.

Lunch will be subway - veggie sub - and dinner I will share a chimicanga with my sister from this GREAT mexican restaurant .... I'm going to try to lay off pop today and opt for milk or water. Hmm, sounds okay.

I'm going to go get dressed and take my car in the garage and vaccume it so I don't have to drive it over to the car wash area - there is always this nasty big fat man who hits on me there, it's so gross when he comes over. "OH Jen's here," "Hey baby, where you been?"

*puke* I usually take along my friend Vic.

Oh shit I just remember pooks wanted to do something today. UG. He took me to pick up my car yesterday for the dealership. Looks like he gained, but I didn't check him out, hm.

Anyway, pooks wants to go bowling or play pool, two things I suck at. He just likes to win and feel like he's the shit then rub it in my face. I hate that. Male macho shit.

Hmm I even tried to talk to Pooks yesterday and he was just to wrapped up in his own problems and telling me them.

What ever happend to the art of listening? Do I listen so well because I am a reporter?? Is that why? No one I talk to anymore seems to listen to me or want to at all, like I spoiled them by always listening and trying to help them solve their problems. HM!

Okay I should get going, I watched "driving with boys" or whatever it's called with Drew Barrymore last night, it was realy good, I mean I didn't expect a drama movie, I thought it was a funny movie. I ended up nearly crying in some scenes, I mean WOW very dramatic - I usually don't cry in movies. But man when kids or men cry, you can expect me to cry along with them. The one scene the father was leaving the family, and saying goodbye to the kid and they both were crying and the kid was like "take me w/ you" so he's a mess by now and I was just sitting there all teary eyed. Plus to see how her life got all fucked up. Very good movie, thought the reviews it got weren't to hot. HM.

Okay, I talk to much. Bye

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