I don't understand it, I can wear Old Navy shirts, but not the pants.

WTF? I dont' understand why they have 2x shirts, and pants that only go up to size 20. Um Hello? How about a 22/24? Just one more size to carry, then I could go in there. AlTHOUGH, I do see a lot, I mean A LOT of fat chicks go in there, some bigger than ME and some of them wear clothing that I KNOW I can't shop at (i.e. OLD NAVY, GAP, GUESS, etc.) so they must squeeze their asses into those things.

SO, today I worked my butt off again, I worked 6 hours yesterday and 5 today, that is 11 hours in two days, that means I get a DAY OFF THIS WEEK. I asked my boss to take Thursday off and then Friday. I think it's only fair since I've worked my butt off this week.

I also have to ask for May 17th off, but I can say that he has me working Memorial weekend, so fuck off, I have to work holidays and I'm starting to work weekends, I *will* get my time off.

Anyway, I spend $120 at Eddie Bauer, yes, they carry plus size now. I bought 4 shirts and one pair of pants, I'm HOPING they will fit. I bought a coat from there and it looks strange on me, I need to lose weight because I can't even button it by the tummy, so I don't want to look like a Brer Bear with a tiny coat on.

My parents are shocked again, they said I've lost a lot in my shoulders and then in my legs, and that I have a "fat ass" now, when before it wasn't noticeable. Thanks I said, I have junk in my trunk and probably look like one of those people with rhino ass/hips.

Yuck.

I was thinking how different my eating is now. My Mom says I don't eat enough, and I know I do, just not all that often. I am tired of fast food, I am getting to the point I have no cravings, I don't know what I want to eat half the time, so I have rice and soup, or make a frozen meal, or...toast. Or just a cup of Diet Cherry 7 up will do me in. Hm.

Oh well, I walked nearly 2 hours today, some 120 or 130 minutes. Felt nice to walk, last time I had the worse back-ache in the world, but it was from sitting wrong all day.

SO anyway, tomorrow I have to try to finish up the pages I paginated. I have I think 13 done, and there is 28 pages. It goes fast for me sometimes, I'm learning it better, but not to be so fast as that other girl, though I've gotten faster because now I know where everything is.

I have this feeling that I won't get called for those resumes I sent in. I hate to feel this way, I don't have hope anymore, or don't believe in it anyway.

I have this image that they open my resume up and look at it quietly and think I must be nuts working here only 2 months and already asking for a job, maybe they will think I have guts or maybe am so bothersome, that maybe I will get a job there later on, just later on, not now, though there are two positions open. Does she have enough experience? Did they even read the articles I enclosed? Did they laugh and throw it to the side, to look at it later or maybe look at it later, but get lost under sheets of work and only to be found months later and then tossed?

Maybe they all talked together about this girl who sent in three resumes to three different people in the same company. Smart girl? Stupid girl? Eager girl.

Maybe they like my guts and maybe have me on the "maybe" pile.

Or just maybe....

I am thinking to much about this and not to get hurt feelings, though I know I will, if they don't call.

Unexpect...the expected.

�

pet ramps