I actually slept in today, I wanted to get to work by 10, but it's 9:40 here and I'm still in my pj's. So, I will get to work at 10:30. Oh well, I worked 8 in the morning till 6 at night last night, I think I deserve a little time off. I didn't have lunch yesterday until 5, which I just combined with dinner, which was an ICKY WW frozen meal, which was rice, mexican MUSH. It was gross, but I ate it anyway out of hunger, had a banana, two pieces of garlic bread (I LOVE IT), and come Hummus and wheat crackers, I was really hungry...then had a bit of oreo pudding...hehehe. Not to bad, had diet pepsi and before bed had a cut of diet cherry 7up, which was really good. Diet wise, I guess I'm doing okay. But I need to work out, maybe tonight, if I get home at a SANE time, for some reason I don't work out at night, I don't know why, maybe I will do bands or something....anything. My parents keep telling me that I look like i lost, but I weighed myself and it didn't show this, I think it's because they don't see my everyday. I think because I'm getting older, or maybe working so much, that my metabolizism is like what the fuck is going on? So maybe it's shifting my body fat into areas...when I look in the mirror I see nasty abs and see my icky tummy. I hate Jello Jiggle fat. I wish it was just that easy to cookie cutter out the parts that I want and don't want.

Oh well, I was washing dishes this morning and looked onto the highway and see there's a dead squirrel at the beginning of our driveway. SO that means I will have to RUN OVER IT. That's so gross, it makes me ill. I mean it's a whole squirrel that you can avoid if driving straight down the highway, but there's little way I can avoid smashing him into a gooey mess. So I'm sitting here ready to say, fuck work, fuck everything, that poor squirrel.

I'm very very very tired still, yesterday was so bad trying to get those pages done, it was okay until I had to load the page to the print facility and the girl helping me left, her notes were SHIT. SO I had this one dude help me, then my boss came over because I screwed up and had to start over (before hand I *flipped* on my boss because I didn't know how in the hell he was explaining it) SOOooo there I am trying to fix it, two guys watching me, the girl walks in who's supposed to help me, they start yelling at her and I'm trying NOT to cry, I mean I was tearing up and sniffing, but if someone had started yelling at me, I would've burst into tears, so I gathered up myself and went to my desk and silently told myself to calm down and then I left an hour later to go home.

So I dread next Monday, when all of this will happen again.... I will tell my boss or that girl, that I will need help finishing pages on tuesday, I mean I'm still new and it takes me the longest because I forget where things are. It's really stress full and as I type about this now I could burst into tears.

So I'm sitting here feeling like that dead squirrel, feeling that I will be alright if I go straight, if I don't have any bends in my road and am careful, I just might be alright.

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pet ramps