I just screamed in pain. I mean literally, it kind of sounded like a dog yelp.

SEE

I was using my fitness bands. And I remembered it saying to use a door knob to tie it around and to fly's.... So tra la la I wrapped it around the knob and then yanked it to see if it'd hold. It did. So I turn around and pull forward and SNAP it goes across my back. I doubled over, I've been whipped. I yelped and then said "Oh fuck I'm dumb, that hurt." My dog just looked at me.

So now my back feels HOT and I know there is a mark, it hit on the lower part of my back, so my spin feels strange. But I have that HOT feeling, you know when you hurt yourself and it feels hot and you feel shakey. I hurts badly....damn I'd never want to be whipped. Holy shit. I feel like...I don't even know...like a horse being broken in!

Oh well, I read this girls diary today, it was on the virgin web ring. I always wonder what other V's look like. I mean they act like it's such a lovely thing to hold so dear, to me, it's just like learning to ride a bike, no big deal. I guess I'm nuts.... I haven't "done it" yet merely because I haven't found anyone that I could have a relationship with that lasts more than a month or two. I have no qualms about sex before marriage. My parents always say no sex before marriage, ya right not in this day and age...perhaps if I were religious or new what the big deal is, then I'd be more ... ?

Okay so I read that girl's diary and it was good, she said things in merely a few sentences, while I say what I'm thinking in paragraphs. I envy her, yet I know that I write in my diary w/o care, I don't take the time to think and ponder, I just write. I don't even spell check, nothing like that, or even read over this when I'm done. I do that all day, I must always be careful w/ my writing at work, so this is a release.

I also did a very BAD thing today. I went to McD's for lunch, got a happy meal, pulled up the window and the lady hands me a med. coke, med. fry, a dble cheeseburger and a fish sandwich. SO I take it and speed off...tee hee I say, I barely had enough money for a happy meal, so it was like an 8 course meal to me, so I chow the fries and burger, toss the fish, drink the coke. HOW SHITTY OF ME. LORD was testing me, yet I failed.

Oh man...I suck, I not only stole from them, I also fucked up my own eating. I'll never do that again.

So tonight I'm having chili w/ corn bread and a glass of pop. Not to good, but ...

I did do my bands, as I said, and though my back hurts, it does feel good to do weights! My muscles were like...awww and they ache right now, but it's a GOOD ache.

I think I'lldo them again tomorrow. I have to work early...10 till...6?

Today was my dog's b-day, I felt bad to leave him all day alone. When I came home he was howling so much, it was like he was singing me an Italian Opera. I bought him a huge bone at the store, so now he keeps coming to me and acting needy. I think he laughed when the band hit my back, he followed me into my bedroom and I screamed and he barked at me...lol. Thanks Toad for caring!! He's so sweet, though I know tonight he'll piss me off when he sleeps so funky and makes me contort my body so HE'S comfy. UG MEN! :)

OW,

Jen

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pet ramps