Is it Monday already??

I had to work both Sat and Sunday, so these days are just melting together! Damn you'd think they'd be like, Jen take two days off. But considering I didn't even total 8 hours with both days...I am taking Thursday as a half day and taking Friday off. SOOoo...hm.

I wanted to sleep in this morning but just couldn't. My DOG, damn DOG, drove me NUTS. Sleeping with him is like sleeping in a yoga position!! I mean he's under the sheets, then gets to hot, jumps down off the bed, jumps back on, then finally sleeps and he SNORES. lol I was like damn it toto I love you but I NEED MY SLEEP. So finally I threw him outside, brought him back in, then went to bed and told him to leave me alone ... this was at 5 in the morning. I must've looked like a nut. Today's his birthday, so I must be nice to him. My baby is 8 years old! OMG!! I have two years till my 10 year High School reunion. Oh barf.... I need to lose serious weight still.

I got two emails this morning from people who really liked my web sites, I feel so terrible that I don't update them anymore, and maybe that is the reason I'm doing SHITTY on my weight loss. So this weekend I will update my losing weight page, and take the disks up to Michigan so I can do them here too.

Oh hell, what is wrong with me, I don't feel like doing anything anymore. Yesterday I did walk on the treadmill but didn't do the bands, which I want to do tonight.

I just wish I could get in some mode of living. I think it's my PMS that is making me screwy. It's nearly over, well WAS, until this morning. EW. Some people eat for stress, well I get my PERIOD when I'm stressed. YUCK.

Oh well I'm trying to get into some mode with stressing on weight loss again. I mean I see my hair falling out and I see some of my clothes fitting tight, I look in the fridge and note that I DO drink to much POP. I love pop, it's like beer to me! Fuck Diet Pepsi, give me the real thing. I guess if I cut back on meats/fatty foods, I can have that pop, but only one glass a day, followed with water. I know, read, that caffenine takes calcium from your bones! EEP.

Oh well, my family is stressing me out, my sister might buy our home in Indiana, then she's acting like I can't move in and she'll take my furniture that my grandma gave me and my parents gave me. She thinks she is entitled to it all. AND she doesn't realize if I move into an apartment I won't be like her with furniture and pots and pans and silverware. I have *NOTHING* like that!! I always thought the plan was for us to live together, then she's like well I'm not ready for marriage, she's dating a complete ass hole, with a kid, revoked license (she has to drive), he is in his 30's and can't even afford to buy ANYTHING, he slept on the floor for a while before his mom bougth him a bed, now that is gross, he's just a bum, and she just thinks he's honey on toast.

Then there is Vic, her other "man" who dated her in high school, ALWAYS has been there for her and our family, has a kick ass car, can buy a house right now, great job, no kids, etc. He's her age, everyone LOVES him, and yet...she's like....well I might marry him....what a fucking fool.

I'm so scared she'll get married and I'll be alone yet again, I mean I'd move to an apartment and probably visit her and whoever she chooses, but man I'm tired of change, to much change at one time, It's like I don't want to deal with it anymore. Plus I feel as if I will forever be single. I can't see myself married, I'm just not the girlfriend type, I'm not needy like my sister is, I mean I talk to a lot of guys and I think my independence scares them in a way.... I mean maybe I should act the fragile girly girl and act like I need a man to survive. Bleck. My mom said she had a "preminition" that I would be married before my sister, she said she used to be like me and say she never was to marry, but I don't see any suitors at my door, only a bi man who wants to go plant shopping with me Friday. Ugh, we made a pact to get married if I wasn't married by 30, talk about dysfuntional. That wedding would never be consumated! lol. He seems nuts about kids though, like he'd sue for them, um NO. If I ever have kids and get divorced, they are mineee. ;) Ew, what the hell am I talking about anyway, I would never marry someone who I would think I would be divorcing.

Ooh I need to talk to a psyche.

Jen

�

pet ramps