Well I'm back in Michigan, my Mom came up w/ the dog. So, I couldn't sleep last night thanks to my dog being up and antsy, then my Ma not being able to sleep and start talking to me at 4 in the morning, then at 7...it was nutty....so finally I did sleep a bit.

Then I kept thinking, okay Dad comes up Thursday with my sis. EVERYONE except the dog leaves Monday and then Mom and Dad come back up Wednesday, then stay till Sunday, THEN, that next Thursday or Friday I go home since I have to work Easter, Sat and Sun, I get two days off and hopefully they will let me take Thurs and Fri off or Fri and Mon, because my car needs to be fixed -- the gas sender is off, so I never know when my car if full or not, ugg! I gas it up like at half a tank and wonder if I really need to gas it up at that point.

Oh well, I keep thinking, what will happen when everyone leaves, how horrid will that be. That'll be at least the second week in April, so I foresee another spiraling despair week. I hate being here still. Each day I look at the job boards, so hopefully soon something will come up. It was hard coming home yesterday, I mean even with my mom I still didn't want to go back up. I wanted to say I don't want to go back, I just want to stay home. Home is so lovely my friends, family, my own space.

*SIGH* I was reading in my Fitness mag that people become more depressed because they lose that touch, you know, like a hug or when someone you know will be near you and touch you, well here, I don't have that at all. I never thought how much that affected you, but now I see that it does.

So, I just feel depressed and a lot of anxiety because I know I will be alone in two weeks, and then go home and have to come back all alone, to an alone house and start the cycle of sleeping alone and waking alone, being scared alone, feeling alone, then having absolutely no one understand, which is the most horrible feeling when no one knows what you're going through, just people telling you that it's good for you to be here and to shut up about it, funny how people don't listen to you and tell you what THEY feel is what YOU should feel.

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pet ramps