Everyone left today and I didn't cry. It was strange, I wanted to clean, so I vaccumed and dusted a bit and cleaned the tub and sink out. Then paced the house again, like I always do, just pacing around, the wild animal in the cage looking for a way out.

I then went outside and burned garbage and picked up sticks, and walked around the yard, cold. I came back in and the radio was on blaring "All by myself" by Celine Dion, I laughed to myself, I thought it was a bit funny. So I got on the treadmill and walked, took a bath and now cooking dinner. I had at least 5 mini carmel eggs, I so love them. I am happy my sis let me use her laptop, I hate this old computer, it sucks ass! My parents were like, well you can buy a new one when you make some money, and I am like WHY? I won't be here that long and that's a lot of money!

Anyway, I told my parents and I think I'm knocking sense into them now, that I won'tleave here until I have a job at home. My mom was like a chicking bawking, and I told her, it's not like I have interview anywhere, or even a job.

It was sad, even my sister was like, how do you live here alone? Pooks was like, how can you live here, there's nothing. They are both right, there is nothing here, no friends or family, different cultures, where I grew up verses here, so of course they don't understand me being so stand offish, to their family place, which I don't like, I'm there for experience, not for fucking around the whole day. No nooo....please God get me out of here. GOD PLEASE! Maybe I should pray each night.

Oh well, I really don't want to work tomorrow, it's like another day of trying to look busy and figure out what the fuck I'm doing here.

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pet ramps