I feel like I could just burst with sadness, my parents left and since then I've been crying all day, I just hate hate hate myself and this place. I got so pissed I re-did my resume, cover letter and typed in one of my articles and then e-mailed it out for a job in St. Charles. FUCK THIS I said through my tears. I'm so scared I will get stuck here, though I know I could skip out of here right now with a clear mind. I am dreaming of just getting a part time job and starting on my master's. I wish, pray, wish, I could get my old job back, and do that and go back to college AND join these two local papers for correspondance. Lovely, that would be getting experience right there. I know that can't come true, I doubt I could beg for my old job back and then show my face w/o feeling like a failure, whatever I do, I will feel like a failure anyhow. I just want to leave.

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pet ramps