I think the evil eye is on my family. I remember my grandfather would say this, "ohh the evil eye is on me, for Christ sake." Then he'd let out a funny sounding howl.

So my friend's mothers funeral is tomorrow, it's closed casket and he is going early because he wants to see her one last time. I talked to him on the phone and didn't bring her up so it was like old times and I could hear the saddness in his voice.

So then today I was sitting at work and I heard an ad on t.v. it was like, crying all the time? anxiety? can't sleep? can't eat? ...so I turned and looked at the TV, wow, that's my symptoms, "Depression can be treated." I nearly fell off my chair, I didn't think I was depressed, but I guess I am, but that's expected. Though my parents don't understand. I'm quiet bitter.

They are like, we want to be there, and I'm like, I want to be there! They keep asking what I'd be doing there that's different, well my friends, I barked. So we got in a fight and I told them I hated it up here and would never EVER live here. They are like..what..why..you're nuts. So, it was nice to get off my chest.

So like I said, the evil eye is on my family because everyone, everyone is in a bad mood. My sister hates her job, though I don't see why, well, yes I can, but it's not as bad as mine. The people she works with are quite lovely people, so very nice, so it's not that bad, just the pay and kids...school system is bad. But it's like everyone in my family is in a place they don't want to be.

Anyway, I learned how to take photos today at work and load then then put them up for print. It was funky. I felt like they were like doing it to fast and I wrote it all down to remember. I'm not used to having to do all this, at the last paper, we had our own photographers. I also did so much research on this story I'm doing, I'm nearly done with it and must take the girls photo friday. I feel like a bad person, I think I"ve got problems and this six year old has a brain tumor, I felt greedy as I worry about my own problems and couldnt even empathize with the mother, I am horrid.

Oh well, I have such a head ache again, I haven't cried today, I did tear up, but no tears today ... well the night IS young.... and I'm feeling real bitter and cranky because I'm tired of being alone and not at home to hear the news and be in my room and having my family call me and tell me what's going on while I'm here with no one andddd it's like..FUCK I'd rather be miserable and with someone then all alone. Misery loves company I guess.

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pet ramps