It's snowing again, all day, now to 15 inches of snow, this whole week is flurries, but Tues and Weds and Thurs is 38, so it should melt, though I don't know how this much snow can melt, I doubt I will see grass for a while.

My parents just went to dinner, I stayed home, I have a headache again. We hauled in the Treadmill, it was the first I had been outside in 2 days. The cold knocked me out, which gave me this headache. My face instantly froze, it was horrid. But it wasn't to hard bringing in the treadmill, not like last time when my dad kept telling me I was weak and must not have been working out because I couldn't lift the treadmill, I wasn't too happy.

So anyway, the treadmill is in my room, but it's a three pronged plug and the wall socket is only two pronged, so I have to but a converter, or extension cord, or take the converter I'm using for the computer, all would work.

It feels like I'll only be here a week then go home, I guess wishful thinking.

Is this bad that I'm looking for other jobs? I found another job to try for in Chicago. What gets me, is they don't tell how much experience they want. I mean fuck, do they want a grad? Would they laugh at me sending in a resume? Then I worry if I do get this job in Chicago, my parents will probably be pissed, all this hauling up, cleaning up, for nothing? Just like Disney, all that money spent on plane tickets and rooms and me coming home a month later, more money gone. Like now, spending money to come up here, and my mom putting money out for my clothing and I think for my car payment, since I have *no* money to pay it until my first check, whenever that is. I don't know if mom realizes this, I took $400 out to come up here and buy groceries and start a checking account, at home I have that $400 from my old job, but I don't want to spend it, then have them try to take it out of my account and bounce my account, what a mess that would be. I have a feeling my aunt was right, I am a trouble maker. My sister never does things like this. I'm the one always schemeing to get ahead or do and try new things.... I am the one who pushes and pushes to get her way and then will not listen to her parents as they yell at her.

*SIGH* I wish I wasn't so fucking stupid. WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!!!

I hear another plow go buy and see that my car is in a drift and that my new job hasn't called to tell me when I start work tomorrow, if I even do because of this nasty snow.

What's a girl to do.

Holy shit I haven't even updated my web sites. They can wait or go to pot, I just am not in that mood to do those as of yet.

HM.

HM.

Again, I ask, is it wrong to apply for other jobs?

Not like I'll get them or even a interview.

But what if? What if I get that job and have to move back and tell this new job FUCKING SEE YOU LATER? It would be LOVELY, though traveling to Chicago each day, ug. Bareable, yes, take the train, or drive...equally the same cost, parking is a bitch and payment for the train is a bitch.

Okay, so, where was I? Ohh I so need to get back to working out right ... lord I've gained weight! I know it. I'm scared to try on my new clothes. I mean I was doing really good before. I'm thinking of buying Hydroxycut again, though it fucked with me, I DID lose weight, maybe a lower doseage. Ew. No, maybe not, that'll be my last resort.

Okay, so Pookie has NOT been on AOL or even called me now for two days. It's like HELLO! He did this to me in Florida, like when I needed him MOST to be my friend, he's fucking GONE. >:(

I hate when he does that.

Oh well, now I can't remember what I wanted to write on here in the first place. I'm hoping not to cry tomorrow as my parents leave. They are coming up on Friday, so that's 3 days w/o them. That isn't long and I keep telling myself it's only 3 days. I don't feel all that scared anymore, nor sad, just nervous and mad I'm here in the first place.

Though, when I think of my little dog, Toto, I do tear up. He's my buddy, my little goo goo. Like I'll scream "arf" and he'd come running with a toy. Each day at home we'd play for 30 minutes. We'd have fun, and I'd piss him off. My poor babes. I miss my gookie (that's what I call him). All I want to so is see his head cock when I say "hey babyyyy, where's my little boy?"

*SNIFF*

I'm still goofy about that bat dad killed. I thought I heard another one in the basement crashing around. But I think it was just the heat. We rarely get bats, like once or twice a year. The bat downstairs, my parents think, has been down there since the fall. We have plants down there, so maybe it's been eating the bugs in them, or whatever... I think I'll research bats on the net and learn about them. I think I will buy a fishing net so incase one should get in the house for whatever reason, I could use that to catch it, probably scream the whole time. My mom told me that bats go for people's hair, it's a old wives tale, but still....ew.

OKAY, I feel weriod and I hate this computer and internet connection, but hell it works, so I'm not complaining.

I should've brought my TV, my room is so boring w/o it. I guess maybe that's good though, I don't know if I should ask them to bring it next time.

man,I hear that noise again, what the hell is that. The heat came on too, there cannot be another bat! My mom wants me to wash clothes down there! WHAT! Hell no!! lol it's a wringer washer and there's no dryer, so I'd have to hang them around the house, to which I'm going to the laundry mat soon...ug.

I want to go home. This is the stupidest thing I've ever done. Why couldn't I have just stayed with wanting to work in museum conservation!?

STUPID STUPID JEN

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