Well, I got that job. This morning I was called, I thought I didn't get it, I actually prayed that I wouldn't. But I was offered it and tomorrow morning I'll accept it.

I'm kind of torn, I hate change, it scares me terribly.

I get home and my sister is saying she'll move and buy a home in November, our house will be sold ... I am overwhelmed by the impending change that's coming. What will I do when I return? All my things? What will happen to them? My sister said I could stay with her, and now I'm beginning to think she'll change her mind and I'll be stuck in Michigan forever, or stuck finding an apartment or a place to store all my things. My mom said that I'm causing a lot of trouble with this job of mine. I wanted to tell her, had she not went up to Michigan that day, I wouldv'e never tried for this job, I wouldn't be where I am right now ... thinking how I will live ... how I will be alone ... how I will be eager to leave that place.

So today I looked around my house and thought of another family living in it. Maybe they wouldnt understand why I love it so much, creaks, cracks and all. The trains from the tracks around the house, the sirens, the whooshing sound of the highway, or even someone speeding down my street, people yelling outside. This is home, this is my home, this is what I've grown accustom to.

Hm, so I'm trying to act like nothing is wrong, and am pulling ahead to go for this job and deal with everything one minute at a time. My friend who's always pushing me to get out of this place would be proud. I got out. I'll be on my own, I will change and become a independant hardened person.

Ugg, I also got a perm today and as I scratch my neck from that smelly liquid and my head burns from the chemicals, my hair looks like Raman noodles.

MM this time in my life sucks, I am so confused...uggg. My friend nearly cried on the phone when I told him I was leaving. I got tears in my eyes and wanted to say, no I won't leave ... or I'll be back, I'll miss you a lot, more than the trains at midnight. I can't image being alone without speaking to him, it's like family.

Oh well...when I am asked about my new job, it hurts, like I know it's not great, but it's a start...I'll write later..

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pet ramps