I got my Body For Life book yesterday. I've been flipping through it, and it looks interesting. Looks pretty good, though it's asking you to lift weights 46 mins 3 times a week? WOW That's a long time for me, who usually only spends about 20 mins lifting (I use a tape) I will have to see how that goes.... :)

The 6 meals a day thing is fine, but I think I will need those shakes and bars the book offers, I have bought some already off of ebay, and realized I could've bought them cheaper, ah, live and learn huh?

There is a lot of support as well on the net and nice people who e-mail/IM me.

I alsooo got paid today, well for the gas I use at work...woo hoo. Ya hooo, ooh I actually am saving money, wow. Though my car payment should be coming, ugg, I turned in my resume today, and damn I hope I get that job. I can't image working full time, lord, that's double my pay, wow!! FUCK, how lovely that would be!

I also did investigating into the guy in the office, from an e-mail I got a while ago and a quote page the company has, he seems bitter to not be married. Hee-hee a man after my own heart, though I am not bitter, just in despair that I will become an old maid, and never have children...that would suck. I will go bonkers when I am 30 years old and still single, and *shutter* a virgin! LoRd life will change, I will change my life right now, lose weight, yesss I will before I'm 30. Because truthfully, men do look for skinny girls, I won't lie to myself, we all know that's true. Losing weight will help my chances. Umm..anyway...I still wouldn't mind talking to that guy, I just don't know how, or when, ummhmmm.

I don't know, when I'm around people, they make me feel so innocent, like a kid, and they feel as if they must take care of me. My friend says that is what makes me attractive to men, I guess my needy-ness.... Like today, I wanted to intra-send my resume to the guy in the office, I couldn't just go up to the guy since I don't know him well, it'd be weriod. So I ask the mail guy, my age, how how to send it intra-mail, and he was like what...wait... (looks at my resume) ohh why don't you ... So I cut him off and say, yes, it's my resume and I didn't want to go up to him and say oh gee here's my resume. (he laughs like I'm a little girl who just asked how to tie her shoelaces) He gets this goofy ass look on his face, like it's a secret and he gets close to me and is like, ohh when do you leave? I'll give it to him then, it's *our* secret, it'll be okay. What the fuck is that? I didn't ask for that, I just asked how to intra-mail something and he acts like he's James Bond and ohhh take care of the stupid blonde who doesn't know what's going on. I just looked at him then, smiled at him and thanked him. He probably threw it away when I left. lol

I'm kinda psycho I guess.

Ohh I just did a bad thing, I had Taco Bell for lunch, Pepsi (Haven't had pop in about a week) a soft taco AND Steak Quesdilla, which wasn't too good. My Taco Bell fix is done for today. I know me and my friend probably are going to go out tonight, meaning more fat food. So I'll get on the treadmill now, shower, take a nap and then go out tonight. My friend, Pookie, called me this morning... at freaking 8:30. I asked him what the hell ... he knows I'm not a morning person, so I think he was a bit needy or maybe lonely, and just wanted to talk to someone. That's fine, but he's still the one who I'm always there for to listen and help him, yet he doesn't listen to me or help me when I have problems, unless it will benefit him somehow, or sometimes on a whim. We're both Gemini's and I know we're sort of selfish, but we're also communicators, but I don't see where he is a communicator when he can't listen to people, he wants to work in the media? LIKE THIS? Please.... I really hate that, NO ONE, I mean no one seems to listen to me anymore, they just deposit their problems into me, but don't listen to me. I'm like the "fix it" girl, I help and fix and help and fix, and never get the same. Like my sister, I always wash her clothing w/ mine, I try to keep our bathroom clean and neat, I clean our house and carry in her bags and help her in her classroom, and now I wonder what in the hell does she do for me? I listen to her endless, I mean ENDLESS drabbilings on her boyfriend, our parents or anything, and she's the one who doesn't listen to me, and just says..."yeah" when I say something. What the fuck is that, I put my foot down and refuse to wash her clothes anymore, I'm tired of being a servant to everyone, I for once, just want to be the one with the upper hand.

I don't know, I think my life is on the verge of a big change. I'm fed up with almost everything in my life and am ready to make a change. I'm not sad or depressed at all, just angry, it seems, all the time now. I kind of feel like an animal in the cage, just pacing, ready to get out....

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pet ramps