I deleted all my Hydroxycut links. I'm finished with it! I talked to a nice girl about what happened to her, and she too had the chest pains, so I said fuck that, I can't handle having chest pains and trying to ignore that.

She gave me some helpful sites and I feel myself already ready to rock with a new way of eating. No more use of "diet" or "I can'ts." Though I want to join this gym, I'm really doubting myself thinking I won't go, because people will gawk at me, I want to take some fitness classes, but again, that is VERY scary for me. I swear I'm always the one pointed out in a crowd, I'd like to take a step class, but again will I keep up?? What if I can't? I'm going to stop by the gym sometime this week since I pass it nearly everyday, it's HUGE. The parking lot is always crammed full. That is scary too. Plus I need to tell myself that I could go when I get off work, since it's nearby. STILL THAT voice in my head is whispering no no no no.... I keep saying, just go and see what it's like. I know I need to lift weights, and maybe they have a weight lifting program, or even better, someone to tell you what machines to work out on, and even a dietican. I know my college gym had those ....

Oh well, I'll see, I am *not* going alone, I'm taking my friend who's been there before. I'll talk to him about it, he doesn't know I'm going there, so ... he'll die since he doesn't like when I lose weight for some reason. Probably because he likes to feel "skinny" around me ... he's a girls size 16/18 I think, just to give you perspective, I am a 22/24.

Oh wellllll, my boss ran my brief I wrote, he didn't change ANYTHING except deleted a line from the end. Lord I was happy, that means a lot when he doesn't have to totally fix my briefs. SO I guess I've learned something somewhere. I think it was that you need to get to the point a.s.a.p. like first sentence, a Chicago man fled after police found a pot of human body parts in his trunk... type.

Hmm okay I'm done writing for today, my dad always comes in to talk to me, and then tries to read what I'm writing. Lord that's annoying, I instantly minimize the screen. My mom and sis do the same. It's like GET AWAY PLEASEEE! :) It's my diary!! :)

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pet ramps