It seems every time I type in my diary I get booted and then lose everything, so I'm typing this and copying it, so I don't have to regal over and over again about my life.

Okay, before I was booted I was talking about how I haven't been around lately. I've had another stressed filled week. Last night my hair fell out again, which is scary at the same time, is my body telling me to de-stress. I mean a thick piece fell out, I mean like a full curly strand just plop fell out. Yuck.

I asked my Ma about it and she said that used to happen when she got stressed out too.

Okay so on Monday my counselor tells me that I can't write and I need help, and he's saying that he can't see how far I've gotten with my shitty writing. He didn't say that in that manner, but it felt that way. It took all that I could not to sit there and just cry. He's always told me that my grammar and punctuation was bad, yet others have never told me this except for two others teachers, but not in this manner. I told him I was never taught grammar in high school, we were more literature. I can tell you about Shakespeare, but not on clauses. SO he's like well what does your job tell you?? I was ready to say JUST FUCK OFF, but they've NEVER told me anything about grammar or writing, just that it's good, or to add information. He then tells me I'm an excellent reporter and researcher and come up with damn good ideas, yet will never be hired because editors will have to spend to much time with my writing. I wanted to say, do you know that I'm interviewing for an editing position? Then he tells me to go to the writing lab, and I tell him, Do you know I worked for that writing lab? I can fix others writing, but my own, I can't. I wanted to scream at him, then he schedules me for another appointment with him so he can yell at me some more and make my shame his happiness.

The rest of that day I was depressed and was on the verge of tears literally. It's like my whole life and my college career is based on my writing and he's telling me that I suck.

Anyway, so I have to finish my article, which he thinks is good, yet lacking things, THOUGH IT WAS only a ROUGH DRAFT. I was like NO shit. So today after I finish this I'm going to rewrite it and then try to take it to the writing lab before I see him again, or else I'm not going to go see him. I only had to do two conferences.

It just infuriates me. Plus I went and got my cap and gown and had one of those moments you see before a Weight Watchers ad ... I went in and KNEW the normal size wouldn't fit me, therefore they got me a size 1 -- which fit, but was to short, so the lady takes it upon herself to HOLLER across the bookstore and tell me "OH honey no no, you want to be able to SIT DOWN." I wanted to just SCREAM as a few of the people I knew and others just turned around and looked at me with this short robe on, I practically ripped it off. SO I got a 2 that's for someone 6'0 and it is way to big, I mean it's huge, it's embarrassing huge. I was like, why not order more 5'9 ones in size 1??? OH NO, not this semester. Fuck, thanks a lot now I look like a goon. At least my cap fits ... geez. I just think oh well, I'll only wear it one day, look like a girl in a black potato stack....hmmm very nice.

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pet ramps