OH I SO LOVE that Harry Potter music theme...omg I LOVE IT. I put it on my sisters web page that I made at http://members.aol.com/missbergclass/index.html

Check it out.

Oh well, there was a picture of this guy at work...that is a mystery to me. Sometimes he looks at me like you know...that look. Then other times...nothing. I'm like...am I imagining this? Or that day I sat right next to his desk and I could feel him staring at me, and when I looked up, he'd smile. He's older than me by at least 5 years. So is he recalling his youth when he looks at me? Or is it something else. I was sitting there today and remembered seeing a e-mail from someone with kids, I nearly freaked, was this HIS e-mail....I looked around and found it wasn't. So I'm thinking I'm just wishful thinking, since I've never spoken a word to him, merely just a smile or a quick hello. I now work in his dept. we have the same boss. I don't know...I'm goofy like this. I always flip over things I know I won't have....

Anyway, work was nuts and I have such a headache. I have to do my research article by next week and I have at least 6 people to interview and people who won't return my calls/e-mails, and I'm running out of time. I'm ready to say screw it, just give me a C. Then my sis is bitching because I haven't called these people for a mini-profile in this brochure. She acts like I sit home all day and do nothing. I work 5 hrs a day, then go to class. Pleasee that's like a full time job. I have two weeks of school left. And I am very tired of everyone in my life right now. I just want to be left alone for once and not have people tell me what to do, or just because I'm in fucking college doesn't mean I'm fucking ignorant at work. At work it feels like I'm starting all over again, the stupid girl having to relearn everything. It makes me pissed off how people treat me at work, this girl explained to me what "hit and run" was at the police station. NO fucking SHIT...like I dont know what it means! I wanted to SCREAM, I mean SCREAM and say I'm not a fucking moron you stupid bitch. That's how I'm treated the whole day there, "hey Jen, let me teach you how to write an article..." what fuck....

I get so mad sometimes, lately I've been in a very sour mood, like just pissed off. I don't know why, I think stress. I'm thinking about the interview in Dec. and wondering how I will feel if I have to make a choice to leave or stay here. I'm thinking if I had the choice right now, I'd leave.

But if I do get that job, it better be for a lot more money than now and better have benefits or I'm not going. We'll see.

I had an idea for a book I could write. Called "Fatty Tales" like Fairy Tales but the life of the fat people....mostly fat girls. Like how they shop, eat, date and stuff like that. It would be mostly satire and like a great big personal essay. I would write very light and humorously. I tend to get into deep dark stuff...but that's how I am. I'm just a emotional writer I guess. But it makes me happy when I hear of how people relate to me and understand because they feel that way to. Everyone likes to be understood.

Oh well, I'm going to make a fake dinner and drink some pop and lay in bed and watch tv. It's just one of those days, I want to be alone and not have people looking over my shoulder and reading what I'm writing or asking what I'm looking at the computer, fuck, just leave me the fuck alone.

OH I'm invited to a X-mas party and pitifully enough I'm taking a bi-man as my date so I will look the same as I do each year at these parties. The poor fat girl with no date, and the poor fat girl who each year thinks to herself, that's it, next year I will be thin and show them all and bring a real date, a man who truely likes me and is interesting and cute. And each year I end up going fat and alone, not to mention ignored by everyone there since they know me a bit, but I'm just not interesting enough to speak with because I'm a bit quiet in public. *Puke* I hate myself sometimes.

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pet ramps