It's colder than a witches titty! SHIT on me man, I hate being cold, I'm so not ready for this weather. I have to *Oh my GOD* pull out all my snow stuff!

My beautiful chair from my grannies is almost done wood wise. I coated it twice with a sealent and it needs another to make it shine. It looks good, so good it looks fake. The bottom of the rocker, the rockers themselves, have a bit of wood rot, but considering it's been in the basement for at least 10 to 20 years plus, it looks pretty damn good. I'm *supposed* to be looking for an upolster, but I don't know what to ask even, if they need to see the chair and most important is COST. I figure I'll use this as a piece when my parents move out because we will *NEED* furniture, last night I was thinking again how we're going to decorate. We can't figure what to do w/ the flooring, it's wood and bare as of right now, but my little darling puppy, who's now 7, potty trained in our living room in the first years of his life and now and then when he's mad at us. Therefore ugly stains are on the flooring...but redoing all the floors would be TO much, and totally carpeting, I don't know, I just don't like that. I was thinking of just fixing up the wood by the walls and buying huge area rugs so the wood sticks out, and expensive area rugs, not cheap ones... I'm thinking Pottery Barn or Ikea rugs ala' $500 dollar rugs. I don't know, I love to think of this, because I love decorating! I know for our dining room we'll just buy a new SMALL dining set, I have my eye on one at Ikea and *ahem* Target. I'm not sure if we'll paint since it looks alright in there! And then there's the painting of the stair way and the bathroom upstairs is just YUCK with dust filled light bulbs that have ugly fixtures and I have dreams of a new, smaller, skin from our modest home that only has 2 bedrooms and 4 people living here. Which is why my parents live down stairs in the basement. It's 8 mths till they leave don't you know?

Anyway, this is probably really boring to you, since you have no idea what I'm talking about.

I'm thinking (again) of doing WW. Merely because I was trying on some new clothes I bought and I looked like horrible. I just want to lose weight in my inner thighs, if I did, I know I could wear smaller jeans. It's like it will NOT go away, like it's stuck there in a mass! My hips aren't that big, but when it comes to inner thigh, it's elephant women. Plus I'd like to lose in my back area and tummy. Everywhere else is FINE, but what else is there? I'm thinking of running again, I know I lose when I run, but when I run I feel strange, it *does* help me lose though. Like two weeks after running I can tell. It's just doing it, that's hard. I can't even run for 5 mins. Yet I read that your body gets used to the exercise, my walking, and then you don't lose, which has happend to me. You'd think that me walking 4 times a week would have me trim, but no, my body is SO used to it now, I think I need to step it up and get on with it. So WW plays a role, though I told myself maybe I'll just go to a few and see what's going on, I can quit at any time. *SIGH*

I also remembered HEY JEN you're trying for that Pulliam Fellowship remember!? OH YEAH...it's due by Nov. 17th or so, my only thing is I need 3 letters of recommendation, I have one so far. I need two freakin' more. I hate asking. But this fellowship, if I should get it, is amazing. You work in Indianapolis over the summer learning how to do good journalism, with Pultizer Prize winners, etc. My other worry is my GRADES. They want your transcripts and mine *suck* I mean I'm a C student...well C+ / B - now, but before all I pulled was C's .... got 1 D and 1 F in math. My english classes are C's and B's and a few A's. This isn't to promising, so this scares me. I hate writing college papers, I just suck at them, and teachers always expect so much of me since I'm a senior, or because I'm a writing major. I hate that.

OH! My pic is on the front page of the school paper and I look bad. Yuck, how can I imagine all the guys and girls saying eeewww look at this fat girl. Yet a few people have come up and said "Good job" on my first editorial. Hm, it was fun to write, I liked it.

ANYWAY, I love to blab sometimes, I didn't have any pop yesterday! But today, right now, I'm have a can of pop. I kind of feel good since I understand the carb and proteins things and how sugar makes you want salt and vice versa, and how true.

I really am valuing my exercise magazines lately, just flipping through them, makes me want to do great. I should lift weights too...so much to do. I don't want to go to work today, I leave in 10 mins.

Jen

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