There is a crazy girl on the loose...and it's me! Today I was trying to figure out what my schedule will be like for next semester concerning that I have two jobs now and a full load of classes, which equals zero time. I remember the days I had nothing to do, or merely just going to class and that was it. Now I'm filled with going to work, school and then to class, finding time to exercise will be quite hard for me and I am very very worried.

I've worked so hard to lose weight and stay active in my walking and now it seems that I won't have time to even get on the tread mill. Maybe I will have to start waking up early finally and exercising. I see I can go to at least 3 exercises classes at my school, if the schedule is right, but I'm not even sure if I will have the energy. I suppose the good thing is I won't have time to eat. So I will stick with at least my weight lifting and possibly walk for 30 mins each morning every day, that would work, though I'm not a morning person. I know I can work something out, it just is very scary to think I could gain weight back, I would die. I'm so very very very scared. I don't want to lose what I've got. I don't want to gain, I want it to work! Yet a piece of me is saying it won't...but I'm cynical...so shut up Jenny!!! If I have to, I will walk on the treadmill if I get home at night...at 6:30! I am DETERMINED TO NOT LET THIS BEAT ME. I already think I'm losing because I don't eat anymore, but I think I will start keeping a close eye on my weight, so I know for sure. My clothes fit me better...gosh I can't wait for X-mas, I so adore that time of year! My family might be going down to my demon, Florida, so that means bathing suit, that means shorts, that means walking all day, these are things I can handle...the bathsuit thing is alright, getting in is fine, but getting out with your suit all stuck to you is bad. I always have the older folks smile at me, like you go fat girl, show off that body...but I just nervously grab a towel and cover myself and end the side show. I reallyyyy have a bad self image as you can tell.... Oh well, I have to get up early this week because I'm taking off Friday at work, so that's 8 a.m. wake up, and going to work by 9 and leaving at 3 ... plus I have to get my nails done this week and have NO money...lord how can I work this much and get paid so shitty? My second job isn't better, and less pay...less hours...God I never wanted my life to be this way, God please let me get a good job when I graduate.

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