Well my birthday was okay. I mean ... I was upset that MJ was found not guilty when we all know he's guilty ... but like OJ ... money ... buys everything, including freedom.

However, we pray and hope in the afterlife, they get their just dues.

Anyway they got a cake for me at work and everyone was super nice to me. I was pretty happy about everyone being coolio about it.

I also rescheduled my interview. OK - left a message the morning of - about 7 am. Said I had an "emergency meeting" ... and that I'd call back to reschedule.

So I call back and ask for this guy and the woman is like "he just stepped out..." so I said when will he be back? And she gets shitty and is like ... "well he took the rest of the day off and the rest of the week off."

*gulp* ... I wanted to say, well I guess he didn't just STEP OUT THEN." ... So I said ... Is Ed or Edward there?

I interview with a "Ed and Tina" so I figured I had better contact one of them...so the receptionist puts me through and the phone is ringing and I'm all like oh man what the fuck am I going to say!??! Shit!

I hear ... "hello?" and I start talking..."Hey it's Jennifer ***** and I don't know if **** told you about why I didn't make it this morning...uh... did he tell you that I had an emergency meeting ... oh you know newspapers?" I'm talking in my professional voice that sounds like I know what the answer to life is.

The line is silent for a minute and he says "Jen I was just about to call you - or was going to at noon to reschedule ... I figured something like that happend to you...."

So I say, "Did **** tell you?" ... silence ... so I say .. "did he?" And "ed" says .. no ... A shock tremers through me ... and I blurt and ramble ... oh my god I really dont' want you to think I just didn't show because this job means a lot to me and I look forward to meeting you ... and and...

The guy is like ... wtf is wrong w/ this girl and laughs a lil and again says he understood and was going to give me a call to reschedule. He said he remembered me from last year - the interview, but they were looking for someone with more managerial skills ... I didn't realize I had interviewed for "ProDuction MANAGER" ... and I'm like WTF was I thinking?? ME .. a manager? That is a fucking laugh and I'm trying to remember because I never apply for management positions....anyway so he says ... "Well this is a step down ...um..."

I understood him completely ... he didn't want to offend, but saying okay you're not management but hey a coordinator you indeed are...so a step down is GOOD for you. I agree 100% with him, I am NOT management material, I have no training in it ... and not ready for that.

So yay. I was gushing by just him saying "I was going to call you ..." jobs ... never ever do that ... I mean I DID NOT SHOW, w/o explaination, he still was going to call.

I was flattered and feeling like maybe this time will be the ticket in. I'm very excited about it all.

He said one of the three people hired...I guess quit/didn't work out ... and I said stupidly ... "well there loss is my gain." I removed my foot from my mouth and ended the conversation with ... Wednesday at 3 would be perfect for me.

So my sisters fiance and herself are driving me up and I foresee them both being cranky faces. Today my sister was major cranky and was like "I have to do EVERYTHING." I wanted to say, oh TO FUCKING BAD my ankle still isn't up to par. Regardless I'm not having her do SHIT for me from now on....

I was going to go to Michigan this weekend, but now decided against it ... that long trip with sister, her fiance and his kid ... me in the back and ankle crunched up...sleeping with sister and dealing with him and kid...no thanks.

The new guy wants to go for "Drinks" on uh .. Friday night...I don't know yet. Want to meet him, but not crazy about "drinks" or bars or whatever. Not sure yet, but I'm home and alone so why not? Just go and throw caution to the wind and ...whatever dude.

Oh my ... time is still here. Looking like June 30 gyn appt might just be in and out with a prescription for birth control and then rescheduled for the exam at a later date when my period is regulated. But I am under a whole lotta stress...and next week especially. Half of me wants to get it all done with, the other half wants to go in and see what it's like and leave to come back. Either way, sometimes I worry about it other times I'm like fuck it. Hear it takes less than 5 mins that the woman is down there - that's coolio. So not worried, yet worried. Hope to just say...what the hell....just do it. Be brave and be like whatever. Let's hope.

Yet, I know, I just feel that I won't be done by then ... as my time "normally" begins the first of the month (like welfare checks) ... June 30th ... is the "beginning" of what should be the "end"....

*SIGH* can't wait to have that day over with ... it's so close, I am feeling slightly nervous already, anxiety ridden.

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pet ramps