OKAY, so I just spent like 10 minutes playing around with the color on my computer screen.

See I bought this computer screen (HUGE, think like 19 inch screen) ... well I got it off of eBay for a good price as it was used and revamped. So I got it in a huge box and it's heavy as HELL. And I hooked it up to a shitty, disappointing contrast on the flat screen. It was very hazy, white.

So I freaked and was like, well it was cheap, so fuck it, I upped the color on it to the max and was okay with it.

Then I upgrade my graphic drivers ENTIRELY. And it fixed my screen! I guess the update also updated my panel area because now it's all about COLOR. Vivid, beautiful color.

So I just spent a few minutes upping my color and feeling a bit color-motion-sick if there is such a thing.

But I say well I'm a DESIGNER and well I need a big ol' screen to DESIGN ON. And consquently play video games on....

So anyway, I woke up to my sister laughing at some tv show and slept pretty well last night. No nightmares (been having a lot of nightmares.) I was having a dream when I woke up, but I can't remember what it was about.

Anyway, my cousin Ruthie can't find a job either. She got married like a year ago to an army dude and he's out of the army now and he can't find work either, so they are like so poor they don't have a car and she's going to live with her parents a while until I don't know what?

So I can relate and I know what they are feeling although I think I pretty much have this job now.

I shouldn't count my chickens before they hatch, but yeah. I think I'm employed. I do have to take a drug test though, that's what my connection said. I was like, does TrimSpa have any like drug like stuff in it?? I don't think it does. So I'd better not eat poppy seeds or anything.

I know I'll have to go to a clinic and pee in a cup and maybe get *shock* blood taken. Fuck I've had two drug tests ALREADY this year. And the blood test thing, my last one SUCKED. OMG she took three vials and put this HUGE needle in my arm, that HURT.

I'm okay with small needles, okay, it pinches a bit, but this needle was big and attached to a tube for her taking a few vitals out of me. So the needle - not joking - was about the length of a toothpick.

Yes, that was in my ARM. what HURT was when it was wiggling around in my skin. OMG. I went straight as a board, clenched my fist and didn't MOVE at all. It didn't hurt as much as burn. Then she took out the needle and I thought I was going to fall over. lol So no, it wasn't a good experience. Everyone kind of laughed at me and I tried to act like I was okay.

Then I had to PEE in a cup and I just can't pee on command! Some people (mom and sister) can do this, but me, I can't. So if I have to go, I'm going to just fucking drink a gallon of water! ON the cruise ship I was chosen for a drug test randomly and I had to piss in a cup and I only could get out so little that I had to wait like 10 minutes for the strip to turn. lol

Ah, drug tests, gotta hate em. Not that I'm afraid I'll fail as I hate drugs and don't do them...but it's just a nusiance to pee in a cup when you always get more pee on yourself than in the cup itself. Ew.

ANYWAY, yesterday I really really got into looking for a violin teacher. I figure if I get this job, I want to start up again.

I found this site of a quartet that performs around where I live. I listened to their demos and OMG it was beautiful!! Wow, the wedding songs they play and Jesus, Joy of Man's Desiring, it was so beautiful how it sounded. AND in person, when you hear something like this played it gives you chills. (Listen to their CANON IN D by Pachelbel and JESU, JOY OF MAN'S DESIRING by Bach it'll give ya chills! Wow!)

So I'm all GUN HO into learning to play better and more and I'd love to get into a quartet some day or something in that manner. Play weddings and the like, that'd be cool!

I think what I need is to polish up. I know how to read music and I can play, but I skip things like the beat or I'm lazy with practicing and fingering correctly and my form. All of that I really need someone to KICK MY ASS on.

I also see I'm going to have to pay out my ASS for lessons.

I saw to join the local symphony, you have to play the first movement in a concerto!

WHOA.

I don't really know what that means, but it sounds like you have to play for at least 5 minutes. lol

I really need to practice and work up my muscles in bowing and fingering because they are rusty and it's evident because my wrist aches after I play big time.

Oh how lovely it would be to play without fucking up all the time and playing on the wrong chord or bowing w/o getting to strings .... mmmm

Anyway, I also want to join the gym or something when I get my job.

Lots of changes will take place I see, things I can actually DO NOW.

My biggies are: get Indiana license plate, license, new cell phone (want the Motorola V80), insurance?, gym and violin lessons.

Other than that, probably buy some new clothes because I CAN. But I really want to lose weight, so I'm going to try like a mother f to lose and wear the stuff I have that doesn't fit to well.

Lots to do and I just hope something doesn't happen and hope it all works out now and goes well. I think they really liked me. I was raw Jen there, I just blabbed and was like I NEED TO WORK. I was nutty.

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