It's friggin snowing at. Damn snow. I thought I would somehow get off scott free before I had to leave.

But alas, we are getting one to three inches tonight. My sister, in Indiana, as it worse off, she's getting 6 inches tonight.

So I guess I shouldn't complain to much.

Regardless, I feel dizzy and tired today for some reason. I get dizzy A LOT with really bad headaches. I wonder if it's the computer screen. But then again, the night editor had the fucking tv BLARING on a sports game. Oh my.

Then my mom called me at work, said they aren't leavin' until next Saturday, and Dad got mad at ma for doing this...while grandma just cried and shit acting childish, or so said my mom.

I agree with dad, why prolong their departure? Just cause she threw a tantrum? Please, her other son is down there, willing to move in with her and help her until March! Please! It's not like she's all alone, and she's been livin' alone for so long now, suddenly she doesn't want my maid mother and butler father to leave her.

But then again, I can understand her because that's how I feel. I realized tonight that I missed my parents. I missed awaking up in the middle of the night and feeling safe. I miss hearing live in the house other than me and the dog.

I missed someone caring for me, helping me out, making sure I'm okay, listening to me. But now it's me, me, me, in my selfish living. I take care of the dog and he just...well he just pisses in the house to show his gratitude to me.

So I keep thinking, maybe what I am looking for now is marriage, a partner, someone to replace my parents in that safe, loving manner. I wonder if that'll happen in my new job, or if I'll be a wander the rest of my life.

I am nearly giddy thinking about how I want to lose a lot of weight in the next 4 months. I know I won't come back thin as a rail, but hell, I'd be happy with losing 20 pounds! OK! Maybe that isn't realistic...er...how about 15 lbs? Or inches off, or something.

I talked to this dude that used to work on it and he said the food isn't great sometimes due to having to accomodate people from all over the world. So a hamburger to me, might be something gross to a ... African person. And a meal of fish and scallops and brussel sprouts (ew) is gross to me, but delicious to a Irish man. So ... er ... I was wondering today if I could smuggle in ramanan soup cups or something.

Anyway, that fucking boy at the paper, that new boy raided my snack drawer and chowed fucking down on my FOOD. That is so rude. He took a WHOLE BAG of my snicker carmel ball things. I was looking forward to polishing off that package (I was nursing them all week!!) And then took I think two bags of these snack cheez-it things.

I'm mad as hell, sorry I ain't rich and I don't supply snacks to the company! I cannot believe he did that. I am irate as hell. At least leave me some money you fucking pig whore man.

So I cleaned out my drawer, I mean poof. No more snacks for you, you fucking PIG.

I think I might say something, my mom laughed and said yeah leave on a angry note.

Regardless, tomorrow is going to be verrryyyyyy LONGgggg.

Tomorrow I ...

Resign (yay!)

Fax my medical stuff to Dizzy

Get my passport photos

(check mail to see if they emailed me in the mean time)

Take stuff to get my passport

Then actually WORK. Do the paper ... and take a stand alone photo at 11 o'clock ....

Oh my....go to the grocery store too!

Geez, I better get up early.

I still feel freakish about leaving. I go through being excited, to being completely scared to death. It's weriod. Maybe it's the Gemini part of me. I'll have to think on this and come to something I can deal with.

I know I've been thinkin' about what to pack, and when I think of leaving my parents, who I miss right now, I feel teary eyed. But it soon passes and I think I'll just have to suck it up and just do it, adjust girl! Adjust. You can do this. You can, really.

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pet ramps