I went into work today a bit glum. My boss was all shits and giggles, then there was me...very blah-ish.

He smiled at me, and I think I had "there's something wrong" written all over me. He didn't say much, nor did I.

I talked to the night editor inquiring about what doctor he uses. He told me of the doctor he uses and I asked about the doctor I was going to see. He said "oh that doctor isn't accepting new patients!"

FUCK, I said.

So I cracked open my phone book, and an ad caught my eye. It was the local doctor, in my town, who makes house calls.

He actually GOES TO YOUR HOUSE. It said "physical exams" and it said it's $45 for the first 15 minutes, but if you call before 10 a.m. you get $10 off.

I'm definately calling, it's called cheap health care and it's called quick and easy. I'll say I'm only payin' for 15 minutes. That's it, he'll be like a WHORE.

So regardless, I hear he's nice and have seen this man carting around town in his blue pickup truck with his wife, the nurse, who is overweight. This somehow brings a bit of relief to me, we fat gals stick together, and it's always strange to hear a doctor go on about weight when he's fat or his wife is...it's like come on now, hypocrite.

It shall be very very weriod to have this doctor feeling around on me...and I'll be at HOME. Perhaps he won't look at my pootie, not there, not like that.

Everyone says he won't cause really, there is no need for it. He's not a GYN and I don't have any problems there, and hernia...mom says they only check guys for that.

So I guess I'll see. I'm thinking perhaps I'd better clear out my bedroom a bit although my bed is so high...my room is small too...oh my. Maybe we'll be in the living room, and pull some chairs in there ... or ... er...hm....

My house has no room, it's not typical. I mean WHERE are we gonna do this, really, perhaps my bedroom where at least I can hop on my bed and he can feel around if he needs to. Er...I guess I'll lock up the dog too.

Ma said they'll probably send me to the hospital for the blood drawing, urine tests ... x-ray, EKG type things. I don't mind those really, at least I KNOW what they are doing. Maybe they can take my blood and urine there, as for the EKG, I think it says they have them...so maybe I'll just need to go get my x-ray. That would REALLY be fucking easy/cool to have all of this done asap!! Yes!! Thank you God for showing me this!!

Oh well. This is somewhat a RELIEF for me. Like somehow I can't see this person looking at my pootie there in my bedroom, like honk honk, wink wink, hello there.

Yet a piece of me says ... perhaps he will, with his wife watching, and then some porno music will come one and a black feather boa will come out of his black doctor bag ... and oh my.

I know, I'm kiddingggg reallllllly I am.

So okay I shall rise early and call and see what's going on and get this shit over with so I can fucking think about packing and ... er ... giving my two week notice.....geez am I really doing this??

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pet ramps