Okay ... I'm not understanding it.

I got an email from the job in Elgin saying they need someone who meets there needs more.

What the fuck is that, they're wanting recent graduates ... and not even going to consider me?

Hello! I have experience.

Assholes. Oh well it was a night desk job, and personally, I worked night desk last night and it sucked ass.

Oh well another hope down the drain.

I'll never get out of here

I'm at work right now and feel my cheeks are reddining and feel a bad mood coming over me. *Sigh*

I might as well have a shot-gun wedding here and have five kids, bleach my hair out and perm it till it fries...and wear tacky Kmart clothing and smoke cigarettes, go hunting, fishing and make my own bread and gain 100 pounds.

Okay. So this one didn't work out, there loss.

I applied for other jobs, another one I hope to get a nibble at is the GA reporter at my old paper with my old boss. But again, he just might laugh and email me a "Dear Jenny" letter sayin' I need more experience.

Fuck, uggg I'm not good with rejections when I thought I had such a definate chance.

I'm about ready to apply for that job in Indianapolis, I just don't want to move there as it's 3 hrs from home in the other direction ... going from deep north to deep south.

Damn, I just don't know what to do sometimes.

I cannot imagine myself moving to Indianapolis, though I almost did when I thought I had an internship there at Eli Lilly. That didn't pan through and I was a bit happy at that aspect.

So I wonder, could I possibly move there again? I mean could I?

I'd rather live in Chicago ... but it seems like jobs are there, but only if you've so much experience. I swear when I have 3 years experience I'll be able to do anything! But I feel anymore that I paginate and just don't have the tools to continue growing.

We have a set way here, a set style, standard. And you cannot go above it all the way, nor can you really change anything. I'd love to re-do the paper, the cover, everything, but it's something you cannot do.

So I sit here and just do and do the same each day and just continue to do my job and just wonder when I can please God please find a new job. I need better pay mostly, I can't live like this, I already over work my hours and receive no over time pay.

Wouldn't it be nice to get over time pay ... to be paid what I should be paid for what I do.

It's utterly embarrassing what I make for what I do here.

So, I get this feeling sometimes that I'm just not good enough, or know enough in pagination to do anything for a large paper

I would love to get a job doing the special sections of papers, I love doing that. Or maybe court reporter or something of that nature.

It seems so hard to find jobs nowdays, and sometimes I wish I had an easy job to look for, like something in health, or a teacher. It's so basic. But Paginator? What's that? Or news designer .. huh?

So who knows now I still feel a bit defeated with that email, it's like saying you're not good enough for us.

Assholes.

Maybe I can go be that GA reporter and work my way around there, if they will even hire me.

Who knows I know I'll see more rejection letters and then my moms smiling face saying, 'why are you so grumpy?' You'll get a new job....

Sure.

Anyway my weight is going wacky, one day I'm 5 lbs to much, the next I'm back to my 272.

Ugk, I should really pay more attention to what I'm eating/doing.

I should stop eating salt too because damn alive I have to look good Saturday and salt adds that water weight.

Woo hoo then that weekend after I have my mini vacation, aww what sweet words.

�

pet ramps