Man I haven't updated in a bit. Well. I dyed my hair stawberry blonde, but it's more red than anything. I mean RED. Like take your towel off your head, look in the mirror and scream, red. Oh well, I needed a change from my streaked blonde hair that I miss. I miss being a blonde, really, I know that sounds strange...but I think my next hair dye will be a light light blonde, I adore that. I think I secretly want to have that Anna Nicole Smith look, I already use this dark blue cream eye shadow... lord. Oh well, I feel better anymore, I mean I love my job now, I love paginating and know I have something to do each day and have that feeling that there isn't enough hours in the day, days go by so fast when I work anymore. But I don't want to stay here, so I figure I will aim more at news design jobs or spec. sec. jobs, or maybe some type of reporter. I mean I love writing, but I'm always lost for stories. I don't know if it's this area, but fuck, before I was so scared since I didn't have anything much to write on and pray that someone die in a car crash or a case will be tried. I know, it's morbid, but...that's how it was for so long. Today I had to measure a dead deer...we have this contest since it's hunting season, so anyway, I wore this beautiful outfit today that I just bought, it was a italian wool long cartigan in dark brown, under it was a camel turtle neck with camel colored pants, the outfit entirely cost me about $300. I looked like a business woman and with my strawberry hair, I looked alive and felt beautiful today. Everyone really was like ....wow you look great Jen. SO I get into work and have to measure a dead deer! In my $300 outfit, I put on my $200 coat and there I am at $500 with a ruler and a man and his wife both in dirty bloodied clothing from hunting, and he pops open his back trailer and there in a box is a deer HEAD. It's black eyes stare at nothing and it's mouth is all ruffled, in one part, you can see the gums and teeth, the man points proudly at the antler and shows where he blasted off one of the points. I just stare at it and feel light headed, and then smell the blood. Ew I say, I tell them, I can't measure this, I'm sorry ... it's to gross ... I'm a city girl. The man grabs the ruler and I watch him measure it and then he picks up the head and I take a photo and I feel faint, really. I felt like I would faint or throw up, or both. Now when I think of it, I feel nauseous. I mean I should stop thinking about it as I feel my dinner in my throat. Oh well, wow, so anyway my boss tells me that for my vacation he will not use my vacation days so that next year I can have 2 weeks off. I thanked him and now have overtime paid to me, so that's good, I have to much to do this week, I hate deadlines. I called down to see when these things I'm paginating is due and said, I need exact TIMES, the girl was nice and today for some reason everyone said, God you're nice to work with, my boss told me everyone loves to work with me. I think this is because they tell me once and I do the job and I'm a push over. But my boss is right, I try to please everyone ... and he wonders if I ever try to please myself in any way. I'm just happy it's cold now, it's snowing right now, and I"m happy those fucking bats will not bother me until ... wow March? April? It's cold here for a long long time, when I came last year it snowed up until the end of March and into April. I fucking hate Michigan. I really do. I can't wait to leave here and I feel like I"m biddin my time until I can apply and be a girl to reckon with. I'm applying at the old paper again for news design. I keep waiting

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