I got home early tonight thanks to my boss coming in and paginating nearly half the paper because the big wigs are coming in tomorrow to check up on us ... so I looked over everytning and found mistakes he made, and I kept thinking, isn't it wrong that me, the new girl, is finding mistakes on my editor's work, and not small ones, huge ones eye popping ones, yet whenever I make a mistake, it's hell 'you're a dumbass' attitude towards me.

Anyway, yesterday I went to the video store for the first time and rented some movies with my sister. As I was signing up for the card, I saw this guy looking at me from the door, then go outside and continue to stare at me from the window, I watched him and then realized it was the guy from the court.

See this guy is in circuit court, he works there, something with the judge, but during cases he sits in the jury box with many files and helps the judge with information...something of that way ... but each time I go in, he looks at me from the box and stares. I smile and am like ... okay ......

Or I will look up and he'll be looking or I will look at him and wait for him to look at me to make sure I'm not looney, and sure enough he looks. I tried to stare him out one time, but he has these dark eyes with this look of like...I don't know, kind of daring, curious type...I want to say WHAT? You don't know me, you must think you do.

I don't think he "likes" me ... it feels strange like we know each other and our whole conversation is done in those minute stares and glances.

I'm probably making a lot of this, but yesterday at the video store, it was fucked up, there was one of those shades that blocks the sun and he was all up in that window...I kept looking to see who he was with, I couldn't see, I saw a few people walk out with him, but hell I might as well expect him to be married or dating cause all men up here are .....

I wonder if he's found me on the net and is like..."is that Yentl?"

I'd die. But I'm making a whole lot of nuthin.

oh Well, Mom and dad are leaving tomorrow and coming back Tues with Grandma. I have the dog for the day, so I'm going to try to leave early...I'm going to rent Rose Madder, I saw some of it when it came on tv, but I feel like just buming out tomorrow night and enjoy being alone for that brief time. I'm happy toto will be here, he kind of makes me happy, to care for him and talk to him. I should get a pet here, it's nice and company.

Oh well I have another headache like hell, I need to go to bed. I'm gonna call tomorrow for my glasses too, and psychology shit.

Oh I prayed this morning to God to help me find a job to get out of here. I don't pray must but I looked up to the ceiling and said, "God please get me out of here, please help me find a job at home, please help me be happy."

Why do I feel like the only person that heard what I was saying was me?

�

pet ramps