LORD Help me. I bought a elliptical trainer off of Ebay from a real fucker, I wasn't going to buy it, but he reported me and I didn't want to tarnish my record, so I bought it, even though I have NO MONEY! I guess that is what credit cards are for.

Anyway, I've been having a strange week, first off I almost hit a duck in our over populated area, I mean the duck had NO business being where it was, we've no water near us ... hum....

Then I find out today this lady I know at school killed herself in her office with a gun and they found her on Tuesday. I didn't know her well, just a brief hello, here and there...but still. It makes me wonder what drives people to this, and how they can hide it so well. Her friend had NO idea and she's a psychology major. I guess some people hide things so well, makes you wonder what people really do hide from you.

Anywhoo....I start school and my new job next week. I already and stressed out. Today I had to write an article...then had a billion things to do at work...then worry about the dog being home all alone...and my nails need to be done...LORD! I hate being grown up. Plus I had to get ready and call for my D.A.R. membership, I mean I called for my granny's birth cert. and marriage license...downstate Indiana is fun to talk to, they are so southern and so helpful. I have to wait for these things before I can turn in my application.

Oh well, I feel a change coming on. I don't know if I'm losing or gaining weight. I feel weriod...and I'm wondering why....

I don't think I'm a good writer anymore, I mean I wait for critizism, the things that are wrong anymore, I did this before and got over it, but now it's back again haunting me. It's so hard when you try and try and no one tells you what you've done RIGHT on. All I want is praise sometimes, I feel like a puppy who's in training, I need that pat on the head sometimes.

Oh well, God let me lose weight again. I need to start drinking more water. I'm so addicted to pop anymore. I can drink a whole liter I bet! At work it takes a lot for me to drink my water when I have a pop machine at my disposal.

Oh well I better get to bed...I keep thinking of that s

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pet ramps