My own reasons for writing, for setting down the story, are to a large

extent selfish. With each story -- and by story I mean anything I

write -- I am trying simply to work something out for myself. You, the

reader, play no part here: this is a private matter.

--Roxana Robinson, "Writers on Writing"

I think this is a great quote, I totally feel this way. Which is why I get very upset when someone dislikes my writing. Writing is so personal, it's like a piece of you, it's like your child.

Oh well, today I had a pretty okay day. I tried to lift weights today, used my exercise ball and stupidly fell off while reacting for weights on the desk in my room. lol I felt like a sitcom, I fell onto the pedals of my Elliptical Trainer and nearly did the splits ... lol I didn't get hurt, but I did laugh at myself. I'm going to attempt to lift more tonight, since last night I didn't lift at all, this was due to my computer acting funky. See the sound card has been strange, the bass so loud that a plate fell off the shelf. So yesterday I cracked open the tower to see why, the card was so loose, so I couldn't get it in right, called Dell three times, on the phone for 2 1/2 hours, then they said they'd send me a new card, to which I toyed with the tower again and got the card in perfectly. SO I e-mailed them and told them not to send the replacement, hell if they get it, they get it, if they send me the card, I'll just use the new one, hell why not.

Okay, anyway, the Michigan paper called me today, the lady was nice, she was worried that I am coming from such a large paper to a small one, and where I'd live. I told her I needed experience and I have a cottage there. She was happy and the editor will phone me and interview me, then have me come up there to interview me. I was happy, becaue today the paper I work at, well they were boughten up. I learned their health benefits have been cut, so I'm scared that I may lose my job in this trade somehow. Plus today I looked at everyone and thought to myself, I do not feel a part of this place. I mean yeah I'm hardly there, but still, I just feel like Cesare with his council, when is Brutus going to stab me in the back. Et tu Brutus?

Oh okay, I had a bad lunch of chinese food w/ my family. Had sweet and sour Won ton with a cup of rice soup. I so love won ton, just deep fried egg roll wrappers in sweet sauce....lord, I got home and walked on the treadmill. I am still taking my Betalean pills, which is okay, just am more thirsty and nutty. Eeee....

Okay, so tonight I'm going out to buy my new Linda Eder cd, ooh I love her music. Then going to the bookstore, tomorrow is ugg...nothing. Thursday is Satan shit holiday, where I will go out drinking with friends, drink our love-less lives away then snort pixy sticks. Oh hmmm, this week I wanted to drive to my grandma's old house to see it, it's 3 hours away and my friend pookie wants to go with me. He loves that house as I do, though I think he dreams that he is part of the family, and I just have to laugh at his dramatic ways when we're there, like we're the rich people who are living in this mansion, carefree and loving life. If only that were true...(not to be w/ him, but to be carefree...etc.)

Oh well, this guy who's been chasing me for about a couple of months now (he works were I used to work) called me last night, I've never returned his calls, I feel bad. Today I wrote down his number and put it in my reporting book, and thought I'd call him, but then never did. I think I'm just a tease, I flirt and make men like me, then I win the chase and then the thrill is gone.

It's because I'm a Gemini and a Snake, I swear. I kind of believe in horoscope, and it sucks to have the two screwed up signs, I mean mine are fucked up. My friend pookie is a Gemini too, and I've known other Gem's and lord we all are screwy people, fun to talk with and be around, but relationships? We suck in them, we are cold then hot ... I can see this alot, especially in pooks, and I know I've done the same to him, just very cold, then all friendly...strangeness.

Oh well, I'm going to go shower and get ready to go to Warehouse Music or as I call it Whorehouse Music.

Jen

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